1. You identify with EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE YOU EVER READ. "7 ways to know you are a desperate dater". "7 Ways To Know That You Are Not Desperate Enough" "7 Ways To Know If Your Partner Is Enough and Desperate" "7 Ways To Read This Article With Desperation"
2. You don't identify with ANY article you read.
3. You accidently refer to your friends as Relationship Experts.
4. You start to notice that every movie, every song, every television show is full of crap and doesn't apply to real life at all and it's all emotionally manipulative swill that teaches us to distort reality.
5. You find yourself curled up in a ball under your desk at work clutching your cell phone to your heart repeating the words, "I should call. I shouldn't call. I should call. I shouldn't call."
6. You start to think you've got it all figured out.
7. You realize you will never actually have it all figured out no matter how many boards of directors you employ or msn relationship articles you read and the truth is that this is between you and your "partner" and God and at some point, you do it your way and someone sees through it and somehow falls in love with what's rolled up in the crazy.