The Death of Creativity in Korea

Remember this guy? And this one?

Remember how I broke my back to help build something really amazing that made me proud and excited to go to work every day? I just got word that Creativity School will close at the end of January. The University board was taken over by the publishing company that held a few of its seats and Creativity School was deemed unnecessary.

And so all I can do is spend a few minutes in gratitude for the time that I had there...strangely enough, all the people that were 'mine', Krisanne, Geoffrey, Lumina, Jill...would all have been gone by this February anyway. It almost feels a little like it existed just to be a vehicle for our growth and experience. BUT there is still something tragic about many people I love (my korean friends) losing their jobs and the fruits of their countless sleepless nights in the pursuit of excellence.

So here's to Hong Shilkjongnim. Elina. Erica. Sunny. Debby. Kitchen Teacher. Bus Teacher (haha). Library Teacher. Here's to all the people who stay and for whom the school closing does not just mean an early flight back to their real lives. Thanks for the years of paper bag costumes, concerts, beach sets, puppet shows and children's cd's, Changwehakkyo. Thanks for the little people that I loved and the countless lessons in humility and process. Thanks for teaching me how to teach and letting me explore things that other schools never would have allowed. Thanks for being forward thinking. It's so strange to be so removed and still have to let go.

NinnyBeth Takes A Rickshaw Ride

When in Colorado, one must ride in a bicycle rickshaw and while one is in the rickshaw, one must think about the sheer power and strength of the little man pulling one and one's boss and their normal girl bodies through the streets of denver. It was the MOST fun.

Mormons On Parade

Today I will tell you a story that I should probably save for some girls camp testimony meeting or general conference talk that I will never actually be asked to give:

One christmas, my boss, who is not mormon but has many mormon friends and lives right next to the LDS temple in DC, bounded into my office with unbridled enthusiasm and said to me, "I have an idea! Let's get everyone in our office together to eat dinner at my house and then go to the LDS visitors center to see the festival of lights!" Since I AM mormon and generally like to share what is most important in my life with those around me (you'll recall the many posts about bathrooms, vegetables, Smart Boy, diet coke, Smart Boy, God, Thrift Stores, diet cherry coke, oh, and SB) you might think that I would be as excited as Boss, right? WRONG. I smiled woodenly as I listened to her plan for a weeknight sometime in the next two weeks thinking to myself that I would rather poke a hot iron into my eyeball than hang out with work after work. Not because I don't love my work friends and my job, but I have things to do and people to see and presents to make and buy.

But then I started to think about it. Really. How often does your non-mormon boss want to plan your missionary opportunities for you? And how often do you get the chance to really talk about the things that are most important in the world in meaningful ways with people who you spend all day with? And frankly, what kind of disciple of Christ am I if I can't do what I said I would do and share the most important message of the restoration of the fullness of Christ's gospel (even if it is in an informative, un-preachy, professional sort of way)? So, I popped into Boss' office the next day and with renewed enthusiasm, I said, "Hey! let's do it next Thursday!"

And we did it. It was really really wonderful to share the things that I love the most with these good friends. At one point in the evening, I think I sounded a little like Ms. Teen South Carolina when I bumblingly tried to explain the "Temple In Terms We Can All Understand". "like, we don't totally do like ancestor worship, but such and we like, there is baptism, but not like people baptism, but like and such and yeah." So, false doctrine aside, I did get to talk about moroni and the book of mormon and The Savior was everywhere.

And there were Ukrainians.

Adorable little Ukranian children waving their hands and talking in stage voices that reminded me of "Waiting for Guffman". Hilarious and sweet.

7 Ways to Tell That You Should Stop Reading Dating Advice

1. You identify with EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE YOU EVER READ. "7 ways to know you are a desperate dater". "7 Ways To Know That You Are Not Desperate Enough" "7 Ways To Know If Your Partner Is Enough and Desperate" "7 Ways To Read This Article With Desperation"

2. You don't identify with ANY article you read.

3. You accidently refer to your friends as Relationship Experts.

4. You start to notice that every movie, every song, every television show is full of crap and doesn't apply to real life at all and it's all emotionally manipulative swill that teaches us to distort reality.

5. You find yourself curled up in a ball under your desk at work clutching your cell phone to your heart repeating the words, "I should call. I shouldn't call. I should call. I shouldn't call."

6. You start to think you've got it all figured out.

7. You realize you will never actually have it all figured out no matter how many boards of directors you employ or msn relationship articles you read and the truth is that this is between you and your "partner" and God and at some point, you do it your way and someone sees through it and somehow falls in love with what's rolled up in the crazy.

Bathroom Cookies/ Urinal Cakes

I left my camera in NYC a few weekends ago and have not had the wherewithall (I just wanted to say wherewithall) to get it back quite yet so this update is sans pictures. I'm a little boring to myself without pictures but so it is...

The bathrooms are back! After two months of painful, bladder exploding, stair running, pilgrammage jokes at work, we are able to walk down the hall to go to the bathroom again. I was so excited about the announcement that I made bathroom cookies to celebrate. They were affectionately dubbed "urinal cakes" by my office friends and I'm happy to report that they were snapped up immediately and filled the measure of their creation. (I laced them with fiber. I wasn't messing around.)

I spent thanksgiving with my grandparents and I made yeast rolls that turned out like my mommas except that they looked sadly phallic in a droopy kind of way. The good news is that they tasted just fine. fine indeed.

I took the GRE! I did it and I got high enough on the math portion that it doesn't look like I filled in bubbles randomly...it just looks like I'm mildly retarded which is much, much better. I would like to take the time now, in this forum to thank SB and my roommates and that guy who helped me with square roots when he could have been playing rock band. I whined for weeks and made myself an absolute bore. I cried openly about my lack of left brain will power and my slowly shrinking vocabulary to anyone who would listen and blamed genetics, the long haul to the bathroom at work and carb-loading for my failure to understand the whole point about prime numbers and equilateral triangles. Won't being with me through grad school be a pleasure???

I've been sick and it's been the best diet ever. I reached a milestone today that will bring me so much closer to my WW goal than I have ever been in my entire adult life. And the best part about it is that I did it slowly, tenatiously and healthily. I realized recently that this whole body image, weight thing has been one of the most important journeys of my life and has really shown me that change is not only possible but inevitable. The key is three things 1.) Every day is different and you really can start over 2.) spend time getting used to each plateau so that you know how you have to eat at each weight to maintain and then when you are ready ramp it up 3.) Choose to be honest. Step on a scale even in you're scared you've made mistakes. It is better to face each week in the know than to pretend you don't see what's happening. That's the only way to move forward.

The cool thing is that these three principles apply to just about everything that you are trying to accomplish. We get nothing out of dishonesty. We sometimes need to rest and let our bodies and our minds adjust to new situations. Nothing is ever a lost cause. All this is gospel stuff, but it's like I just discovered that it applies to life for ril.

Ok, now I am done being didactic (gre word).

Sometimes I Speak My Heart And My Heart Wins

Sometimes I tell you what I am really feeling, unafraid of the consequences because this is what love and trust are and I am nothing without those two things in my life.
Sometimes I let the chips fall as they will and believe that God makes everything work for the good of those who believe in Him.
Sometimes I have the courage to choose myself.
And sometimes, I am rewarded for my efforts - maybe not in the way the world understands reward, but in my way.
Integrity is your lesson to me. I will not forget it. I am changed.