Well, I've had a little trouble loving the blog lately. Had an embarrassing and eye-opening mishap recently that made me a little blog-shy, but I think I'm back and ready to spill my guts again. And as any of you who know me know, this blog is only a shadow of a type. The real me is much less calculated and witty. It is important to note also that in this blog, I EMBELLISH in great measure in my attempts to imitate my storytelling heros. Please do not take anything that I say as absolute truth...and if it is ABSOLUTE TRUTH, I will preface it thusly. OK. Now that it's been said, I can go about my bloggarreah as usual.
I'm sick again with the snots. It's settled into my jaw, oddly enough and feels akin to a toothache, but it's not, I PROMISE (ABSOLUTE TRUTH). It makes me wonder why...why does a perfectly employed and insured girl like me wait until the pain is beyond bareable to pay a $15 copay and get some medicine to make the pain go away? I am so oddly stubborn in this regard...maybe it's because we didn't have insurance when I was growing up and going to the doctor meant my parents had to foot a larger than life medical bill? All I know is that I got me some anti-bi-otics today and things are really starting to clear up (literally).
Other things are clearing up too...like my mind. I'm feeling lighter...unencumbered by recent fits of self-doubt and genuinely hopeful for Spring. I think that darkness has to come in large chunks so that we can feel it in it's fullness...you know, the whole "opposition in all things" crap. I do get kind of freaked out when I think that this is life. Not just some passing phase that will never show it's ugly head again, but L.I.F.E. in all it's glory...darkness and light, back and forth, calm and storm. One of my favorite lines of scripture is in Ether when it says "the winds did never cease to blow them to the promised land". I'm being tossed and blown (ewww...get your mind out of the gutter!) but so are we all and it's for a purpose. That purpose is eternal. I want to be eternal. Because eternal people don't have sinus infections and taxes.