Weird Neighbors and Death to UPS

I'm so annoyed and it has everything to do with UPS and weird neighbors. I'm waiting for my birth certificate so I can get a passport so I can fly to australia so I can meet my internet boyfriend. I ordered it and paid extra money to have it sent "superfast". The problem is that they made me have it shipped to my home address instead of my work. And the problem with that is that my apartment is like some sort of mail fortress...if you've ever tried to send me anything larger than a postcard, you know that it rarely makes it to me...and forget a UPS package.

So I called UPS and asked them just to hold it at their customer center. Easy. Done. HAHAHAHAH RIGHT! The package was already on the truck, so they told me that the driver would attempt to deliver it and then when I wasn't home (which I wouldn't be because I have a JOB which allows me to pay extra money to have birth certificates delivered via UPS) they would put it back safe and sound at the warehouse where i could then pick it up. So I lalallala drive to the customer center only to find that the birth certificate is not there...evidently, driver lady delivered it to someone named Langley in apartment #9. WHO THE HELL IS LANGLEY IN APARTMENT #9??????? Bad enough that they willey nilley deliver the certificate that indicates that I was born to some total stranger who just happened to step out of his door yesterday at 11:20 am and say that he would sign for it...I realize that #9 is the apartment of the weird guy who sometimes knocks on my door and just stands there all weird and stoic and weird. Did I mention weird? So weird guy has proof of my existence somewhere in his apartment. For all I know, he's a paranoid schizophrenic and took the package and created a van gogh-esque paper mache replica of my head out of it which he is crushing as I type this today. Never mind the implications of that, it's really all about the fact that now I can't get my passport and I'm out $30 for a birth certificate that may never arrive.

So now, the driver, me and crystal are all knocking on #9's door to try to "recover" the package. At the risk of sounding like a pirate (which may actually be the only way I can get to australia at this point) ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

The Enchanted Calling

I'm now in the Relief Society Presidency in my ward. I think I got the calling because one day after the President emeritus (who is a good friend of mine) announced that the presidency had ONCE AGAIN fasted and prayed and gone to the temple for the sisters in the ward, I told her that I hoped I was never in the RS presidency because I could never fast that much...
And here I am. Let the fasting begin (OHHOHOHHH! I just realized that this can only help my weight watchers!!! there is a god!) I'm the second counselor over Enrichment which is also known as "The Enchanted Calling" because the last two 2nd counselors got engaged while in the calling. Enchanting.

Now, if I am indeed enchanted by this calling, I've decided to take this as YET another reason why I SHOULD go to Australia to meet Adam of Adelaide, my latest and greatest internet boyfriend. I've been in lalalalalalala land ever since we started talking and at the risk of sounding crazy, I'm crazy about someone 26,768 kilometers (see I've already converted to metric...it's official) away. I actually have no idea how far away australia is as I only just learned to locate it on the map about 3 weeks ago, but A is very patient and doesn't mind answering questions like "Do you know Crocodile Dundee?" and "Are there birds in Australia? Because I'm a birdwatcher now...so...."

At any rate, I am going to australia soon to check out my foreign destiny. I know you'll think I"m crazy, but luckily, this time I don't really care. Adam is honest, brave, true (wait, do they HAVE boyscouts in australia?) oh forget it...I can't capture him here in this blog. He's got an accent. That should be enough for you to understand. Sigh.

Bird Nerd

I only have a minute. I'm on my way to the Great Salt Lake Bird Festival. I would tell you that it's a work thing and that I probably won't have fun, but that might be a lie. I've discovered recently that I actually LIKE birds. The way other lonely, single girls LIKE cats, I LIKE birds...ok, it's really not that bad, but a few weeks ago, I did stop the car to pull out a pair of binoculars because an American avocet was coming in for a landing at the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge. Maybe we can chalk this up to my amazing ability to become passionate about whateverI do, but I also consider it a sort of conversion.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a physical repulsion to the talking animal movies. You know the ones I'm talking about..."the bear" "milo and otis" "cats"...they generally make me want to die a slow death rather than watch the rest of the movie. Part of my persona, part of the brand that is KaRyn is wrapped up the idea that I don't enjoy animals...and while it IS true that I would rather have a baby than a dog or cat, I think I'm finally ready to shed that falsehood. I love animals. There, I said it. When my family dog had a flea problem, I was the one who came home everyday and scrubbed her down with flea wash to give her a little relief. I can not stand suffering in any shape and that extends to furry, barking, meowing, mewling creepy crawlies. I love animals. I don't want to necessarily TOUCH animals...but I do love them.

I love my job too...does it really get any better than hanging out with 4th graders and seeing the spark of discovery in their eyes? This world is beautiful and amazing and we're so lucky to have it or for it to have us. I'm not quite ready to proudly wear a name tag that says "Bird Nerd" but I'm getting there.