I've been trying to learn korean but I'm afraid that like most projects I undertake, I am running out of motivational steam. Mostly because, whine whine WHINE...IT"S HARD!!!! My sweet friend carolynn has been ushering me through a children's fairy tale about a princess weaver and I am SOOOOO frustrated because not only can I not understand a thing that I am "reading" in the anime style book, I can't really pronounce anything either and I DON'T EVEN LIKE WEAVER PRINCESSES! (By the way, the word only slightly means princess...it probably has 12 other meanings that I can't comprehend with my american pea brain...)
The other night C and I met at Salt Lake Roasting company and it took me 1 1/2 hours to read 5 lines. Not even a whole page. It's really and truly humbling to feel so completely inept at something that I've been so amazingly attached to my whole life. Words have created the bulk of my identity. When I was a gawky, socially retarded pre-teen, I drowned my sorrows in babysitter club books, saving up my money and buying 4 books at a time and reading them all within 2 days. I was the annoying kid who corrected your grammar and knew the meaning of the word "erudite" on standardized tests. I had(have?) a massively evil tongue and used words to fight, hurt, comfort, define...They have always been my main mode of power. And in a new, distant language I am powerless. I am quiet. I am small. I feel useless. I can't even tell you what happens to the weaver princess let alone write poetry and express my personality effectively.
I was walking home on South Temple reading the signs on buildings the other day and I realized that I have been taking all this reading for granted. In less than two months, I won't be able to easily read ANYTHING.
I realize that all this thinking about language is a luxury. There are millions who can not read even their first language let alone a second one. There are refugees who are thrust by violence into new cultures and new languages with new alphabets every moment. They learn because they must to survive. Mine is certainly not such a dire situation, but I have goals...I want to be IN korean culture as much as possible and that means learning the language. sigh. I guess it also means ingesting a huge piece of humble pie and adopting a more tenacious attitude about my linguistic pursuits... (it also means using as many of my big words as possible before being reduced to hand gestures and grossly exaggerated facial expressions to match my monosyllabic grammar..."must...have...drink...gim chi...is....make...me...dead!!!!")
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Playing House: The Talk
AKA The Talk I Gave In Sacrament Meeting Where I Voluntarily Discuss The Law of Chastity or "WHAT WAS I SMOKING?"
Every summer my mom created a playhouse on the back porch. It was practically real to a 6 year old. It had a kitchen, a bedroom and the piece de resistance…a “REAL” couch made out of cardboard and pillows. I spent the summers of my childhood hanging doll clothes up on the clothes line, washing pretend dishes and yelling at my brothers to go to work!!!! and make more money !!!!for our 3 crying children. It was heavenly. Sadly, the demise of the playhouse came when we forgot to clean up the lik-m-aid our “family” had for dinner one night and an ant infestation caused the health board, also known as my parents, to shut ‘er down.
Years later, I went to college far from home and settled into my first “REAL” apartment. I still remember how very grown up I felt when I put up my Depeche Mode posters and Christmas “mood lighting” for the first time. It felt real to me even if my furniture was still mainly made of crates and cardboard boxes. But on occasion when I would light an oven mit on fire while watching america’s funniest home videos or find a dust covered piece of clothing under the unmade bed, I would have the sinking suspicion that I was really only playing house.
Even now, over 10 years since that first apartment, I think often about the concept of playing house. Maybe you are like me when you read the proclamation to the world about the family and feel a little like we are faking it… just making due right now as we wait for the husband, the wife, the babies, the furniture not made of plastic…
One of my favorite scriptures is found in Alma “All is as one day with God and time only is measured unto men.” We are the only ones holding on to this artificial timeline for when our real lives begin. I’m sure that if we asked Heavenly Father he would tell us that we are already living REAL LIVES if we are working on our relationship with the Savior and moving closer to understanding our divine nature. But still there are some ways in which the analogy of “playing house” is helpful.
Have you watched kids play house? They are boundless, they have all power to do ANYTHING. They don’t limit themselves and their ability. Remember how when you played house you had a job, took care of 5 kids and could FLY??? The proclamation states “All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” We are STILL boundless in our divinity as children of God. Our nature is powerful and divine and we can do all things that we are asked! If we choose too, we can tap into that power and energy now to work harder for the things of God. We do not need to limit ourselves or our missions. Play HOUSE! Acknowledge your innate capability as a child of Heavenly parents!
Another cool thing that happens when kids play house: They imitate the behaviors of those who are closest to them…If we believe that “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” We must start to build or continue to build that foundation for our future happiness by choosing to let the Savior be a greater part of our current lives. We must learn to imitate or emulate Him in everyway. Want to be happy? Want to find peace and have joy? Play House!
When we were kids, playing house was sort of practice or preparation for the future. We can still prepare today… In the proclamation to the world we learn that “successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities.” I recently had an experience with a group of friends in which one friend revealed that she was struggling with some really deep emotional pain. We knelt down together and petitioned our heavenly father in unified prayer for relief and understanding and comfort for our sister and I knew at that moment that I was closer to my friends, closer to the savior and one step closer to being the kind of mother and wife that I hope to someday be. And here is the truth. We might not have kids yet, but all of the characteristics that are required for a happy future family life can be developed and practiced NOW as we “play family” in our personal relationships and friendships. Create families. Be a family. Play house!
When I get a little bummed that my mission companion has 4 kids and I have none, I think about how silly her husband is and if that doesn’t work, then I remember Goonies…You know that part in the wishing well when everyone wants to quit and get pulled up by Troy’s bucket and Mikey reminds them, “It’s their time up there…but down here…this is our time.” I testify that this is our time down here and it is a gift from a loving and wise Heavenly Father. A time to figure out who we are and how we fit into his plan. We will NOT HAVE TIME TO WASTE when our children finally come to us. They are the great ones. They will probably already know who they are and why they are here…they need us to be firm in our understanding of the Savior and the gospel so that we can guide them.
Thinking about future children reminds me that there are some dangerous ways that we can play house as single members of the church. The proclamation on the family is full of amazing truths and practical “how to’s” about building a righteous family in Zion. It also plainly clarifies misguided ideas about procreation and puts forth powerful warnings about the misuse of our procreative energy. “We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of it’s importance in God’s eternal plan.”
Elder Oaks quote “ The power to create mortal life is the most exalted power God has given his children. Its use was mandated in the first commandment, but another important commandment was given to forbid it’s misuse. The emphasis we place on the law of chastity is explained by our understanding of the purpose of our procreative powers in the accomplishment of God’s plan.
The expression of our procreative powers is pleasing to God, but he has commanded that this be confined within the relationship of marriage. President Spencer W. Kimball taught that ‘in the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love.”
Outside the bonds of marriage, all uses of the procreative power are to one degree or another a sinful, degrading perversion of the most divine attribute of men and women.”
It is natural and OK to want the full benefits of married life. But just as we can trust heavenly father to be keenly aware of our righteous desire to create families…satan too understands and manipulates it in myriad ways. Telling us that we can’t really ever have the real thing…so we might as well accept the imitation while it’s still available. Give up. Give in. There is no other way. Settle for a couch made of cardboard boxes and lik-m-aid for dinner…
This train of thought can seem completely rational. I mean, we’ve watched an entire society embrace it, so it must have some power of persuasion… but it is not true.
BROTHERS AND SISTERS…THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY. We believe in a Father in Heaven who provides for his children, who showers us with miracles if we’ll open our eyes to see. Moroni 7:27-29 Hopefully we are able to say as Nephi did “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded for I know that he giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” WE DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT SATAN’s PATHETIC IMITATIONS. If you don’t have hope that something real exists for you, seek guidance from the one who knows you best…ask him to give you enough hope to sustain you. Ask him to help you understand the Atonement and Christ and your role in this great plan. Moroni 7:41
I am intrigued by the word PROCLAMATION. To Proclaim something means to announce it officially and publicly. The word comes from a latin root of Pro meaning forward and claim to cry out. Proclaiming is active! I’m sure there are some bad proclamations, but in this case, I like to imagine the heavens shouting for joy at the sanctity of family!
It’s Christmas, so of course I have been thinking about the Savior and his earthly family. I imagine that Mary and Joseph spent a great deal of time cultivating their personal relationship with diety in order to fulfill their amazing familial mission on this earth. No doubt Mary spent a few childhood hours playing house and practicing for her role as a mother. May we all think about the best and good ways to play house as we read the proclamation from our God to the world about families.
Every summer my mom created a playhouse on the back porch. It was practically real to a 6 year old. It had a kitchen, a bedroom and the piece de resistance…a “REAL” couch made out of cardboard and pillows. I spent the summers of my childhood hanging doll clothes up on the clothes line, washing pretend dishes and yelling at my brothers to go to work!!!! and make more money !!!!for our 3 crying children. It was heavenly. Sadly, the demise of the playhouse came when we forgot to clean up the lik-m-aid our “family” had for dinner one night and an ant infestation caused the health board, also known as my parents, to shut ‘er down.
Years later, I went to college far from home and settled into my first “REAL” apartment. I still remember how very grown up I felt when I put up my Depeche Mode posters and Christmas “mood lighting” for the first time. It felt real to me even if my furniture was still mainly made of crates and cardboard boxes. But on occasion when I would light an oven mit on fire while watching america’s funniest home videos or find a dust covered piece of clothing under the unmade bed, I would have the sinking suspicion that I was really only playing house.
Even now, over 10 years since that first apartment, I think often about the concept of playing house. Maybe you are like me when you read the proclamation to the world about the family and feel a little like we are faking it… just making due right now as we wait for the husband, the wife, the babies, the furniture not made of plastic…
One of my favorite scriptures is found in Alma “All is as one day with God and time only is measured unto men.” We are the only ones holding on to this artificial timeline for when our real lives begin. I’m sure that if we asked Heavenly Father he would tell us that we are already living REAL LIVES if we are working on our relationship with the Savior and moving closer to understanding our divine nature. But still there are some ways in which the analogy of “playing house” is helpful.
Have you watched kids play house? They are boundless, they have all power to do ANYTHING. They don’t limit themselves and their ability. Remember how when you played house you had a job, took care of 5 kids and could FLY??? The proclamation states “All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” We are STILL boundless in our divinity as children of God. Our nature is powerful and divine and we can do all things that we are asked! If we choose too, we can tap into that power and energy now to work harder for the things of God. We do not need to limit ourselves or our missions. Play HOUSE! Acknowledge your innate capability as a child of Heavenly parents!
Another cool thing that happens when kids play house: They imitate the behaviors of those who are closest to them…If we believe that “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” We must start to build or continue to build that foundation for our future happiness by choosing to let the Savior be a greater part of our current lives. We must learn to imitate or emulate Him in everyway. Want to be happy? Want to find peace and have joy? Play House!
When we were kids, playing house was sort of practice or preparation for the future. We can still prepare today… In the proclamation to the world we learn that “successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities.” I recently had an experience with a group of friends in which one friend revealed that she was struggling with some really deep emotional pain. We knelt down together and petitioned our heavenly father in unified prayer for relief and understanding and comfort for our sister and I knew at that moment that I was closer to my friends, closer to the savior and one step closer to being the kind of mother and wife that I hope to someday be. And here is the truth. We might not have kids yet, but all of the characteristics that are required for a happy future family life can be developed and practiced NOW as we “play family” in our personal relationships and friendships. Create families. Be a family. Play house!
When I get a little bummed that my mission companion has 4 kids and I have none, I think about how silly her husband is and if that doesn’t work, then I remember Goonies…You know that part in the wishing well when everyone wants to quit and get pulled up by Troy’s bucket and Mikey reminds them, “It’s their time up there…but down here…this is our time.” I testify that this is our time down here and it is a gift from a loving and wise Heavenly Father. A time to figure out who we are and how we fit into his plan. We will NOT HAVE TIME TO WASTE when our children finally come to us. They are the great ones. They will probably already know who they are and why they are here…they need us to be firm in our understanding of the Savior and the gospel so that we can guide them.
Thinking about future children reminds me that there are some dangerous ways that we can play house as single members of the church. The proclamation on the family is full of amazing truths and practical “how to’s” about building a righteous family in Zion. It also plainly clarifies misguided ideas about procreation and puts forth powerful warnings about the misuse of our procreative energy. “We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of it’s importance in God’s eternal plan.”
Elder Oaks quote “ The power to create mortal life is the most exalted power God has given his children. Its use was mandated in the first commandment, but another important commandment was given to forbid it’s misuse. The emphasis we place on the law of chastity is explained by our understanding of the purpose of our procreative powers in the accomplishment of God’s plan.
The expression of our procreative powers is pleasing to God, but he has commanded that this be confined within the relationship of marriage. President Spencer W. Kimball taught that ‘in the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love.”
Outside the bonds of marriage, all uses of the procreative power are to one degree or another a sinful, degrading perversion of the most divine attribute of men and women.”
It is natural and OK to want the full benefits of married life. But just as we can trust heavenly father to be keenly aware of our righteous desire to create families…satan too understands and manipulates it in myriad ways. Telling us that we can’t really ever have the real thing…so we might as well accept the imitation while it’s still available. Give up. Give in. There is no other way. Settle for a couch made of cardboard boxes and lik-m-aid for dinner…
This train of thought can seem completely rational. I mean, we’ve watched an entire society embrace it, so it must have some power of persuasion… but it is not true.
BROTHERS AND SISTERS…THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY. We believe in a Father in Heaven who provides for his children, who showers us with miracles if we’ll open our eyes to see. Moroni 7:27-29 Hopefully we are able to say as Nephi did “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded for I know that he giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” WE DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT SATAN’s PATHETIC IMITATIONS. If you don’t have hope that something real exists for you, seek guidance from the one who knows you best…ask him to give you enough hope to sustain you. Ask him to help you understand the Atonement and Christ and your role in this great plan. Moroni 7:41
I am intrigued by the word PROCLAMATION. To Proclaim something means to announce it officially and publicly. The word comes from a latin root of Pro meaning forward and claim to cry out. Proclaiming is active! I’m sure there are some bad proclamations, but in this case, I like to imagine the heavens shouting for joy at the sanctity of family!
It’s Christmas, so of course I have been thinking about the Savior and his earthly family. I imagine that Mary and Joseph spent a great deal of time cultivating their personal relationship with diety in order to fulfill their amazing familial mission on this earth. No doubt Mary spent a few childhood hours playing house and practicing for her role as a mother. May we all think about the best and good ways to play house as we read the proclamation from our God to the world about families.
This Makes Me Happy Today
| Aussie comedy group Tripod performing their song "Make You Happy Tonight" at a Comedy Festival | |
Friday, December 15, 2006
Diet Coke Makes Me Kim Jong-ILL
I'm learning Korean! I can pretty much spell or write anything you throw at me. (Ask me what it means and we might have a problem) That said, I've found that there isn't really a sufficient "translation" for Diet Coke in the Korean alphabet. It comes out sounding something like "tyet g(k)awk" which doesn't really do it or me justice. But I've decided that this liguistical conundrum might actually be OK since I have essentially been off the devil's whiskey since sunday and will probably never utter the blasphemous name again once I am in my new country.
How does this tie into the mini-dictator of North Korea, you ask?
Well, I will tell you. People keep asking me if I'm scared to move to Seoul which is neighbor to unstable North Korea which is run by unstable puppet master Kim Jong-Il. The answer- YES. But not for the same reasons that you think I am scared. I figure if I happen to be in a scary place when scary things happen, I will either be protected by a secret forcefield OR I will die heroically trying to save the children of my school. Thus, I am unafraid of such things...but what I am afraid of is not being liked by Koreans in general. "But kaRyn!" you say incredulously, "Isn't your charm UNIVERSAL and thus INTERNATIONAL?" Oh yes, dear reader, I am sure it is. But so is the charm of Diet Coke (see! I told you it connects)and ipods both of which come from the same steeping ground as Ninny Beth. And both are probably beloved of evil N. Korean dictator (as reported on very reliable internet gossip site). But they do not stop him from wanting to explode Alaska with intense nuclear laser beams and show us what's what. So while my charm may be universal, it is no match for intense and gross cultural bias which could make me a constant outsider in Seoul. That will be a very scary and new experience for me. I will immediately be recognizable as a loud, fat, pushy american. At least in Australia nothing was different until I opened my mouth. In Asia, I will just LOOK different not to mention act different. What if I can't do it...what if I can't ever meld myself to the new culture?
Now, to play devil's advocate to my own argument...my fears about being unable to change to assimilate to Korean culture are somewhat countered by the fact that I also thought that I couldn't give up the firewater...and here I am 6 days and holding and when I did "accidently" taste some DC today I realized that I don't even really like the taste of it anyway. AND it's not like I have to completely give up who I am to be part of this new adventure...I just have to be willing to try new things and let go, right? Kim Jong-Il understands.
How does this tie into the mini-dictator of North Korea, you ask?
Well, I will tell you. People keep asking me if I'm scared to move to Seoul which is neighbor to unstable North Korea which is run by unstable puppet master Kim Jong-Il. The answer- YES. But not for the same reasons that you think I am scared. I figure if I happen to be in a scary place when scary things happen, I will either be protected by a secret forcefield OR I will die heroically trying to save the children of my school. Thus, I am unafraid of such things...but what I am afraid of is not being liked by Koreans in general. "But kaRyn!" you say incredulously, "Isn't your charm UNIVERSAL and thus INTERNATIONAL?" Oh yes, dear reader, I am sure it is. But so is the charm of Diet Coke (see! I told you it connects)and ipods both of which come from the same steeping ground as Ninny Beth. And both are probably beloved of evil N. Korean dictator (as reported on very reliable internet gossip site). But they do not stop him from wanting to explode Alaska with intense nuclear laser beams and show us what's what. So while my charm may be universal, it is no match for intense and gross cultural bias which could make me a constant outsider in Seoul. That will be a very scary and new experience for me. I will immediately be recognizable as a loud, fat, pushy american. At least in Australia nothing was different until I opened my mouth. In Asia, I will just LOOK different not to mention act different. What if I can't do it...what if I can't ever meld myself to the new culture?
Now, to play devil's advocate to my own argument...my fears about being unable to change to assimilate to Korean culture are somewhat countered by the fact that I also thought that I couldn't give up the firewater...and here I am 6 days and holding and when I did "accidently" taste some DC today I realized that I don't even really like the taste of it anyway. AND it's not like I have to completely give up who I am to be part of this new adventure...I just have to be willing to try new things and let go, right? Kim Jong-Il understands.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Big Ball of Sick and one happy thing
First, I have to have oral surgery at some point before I leave for Korea. I had this little root canal that refuses to stop being infected. I'll spare you the gruesome details of the surgery...but really the most gruesome part is that my dental insurance will cover most of it if I wait until the 1st of the year which could mean that my jaw will explode while I wait. Does my insurance cover face replacement? Or do I have to wait till next year for that too?
Second, Arthritis is vying for some attention. It mostly comes in the form of severe fatigue...the kind that forces me, FORCES ME to find the two swivel chairs in the breast feeding mother's lounge of our church and nap between Relief Society and Sacrament Meeting. That means that I miss sunday school. How much does insurance pay for the loss of one's soul?
Third, I've started doing yoga again. I'm now much more centered and much more sore. WAH WAH WAH!
NOW, for the good news. I got offered the contract at Creativy School in Seoul which means that I will have an actual job when I get there in February. But not just any job. I will be teaching kindergarten and afterschool programs...integrating music, theater, dance, painting and WORDS into my classroom. It's all very experimental for a Hogwan and perfect for a free spirit like me! I can't wait! They are interested in having me write and publish plays too...really too perfect. too too perfect. I think this is Heavenly Father's way of compensating for the fact that I have to learn to think backwards in order to speak Korean. Does insurance cover reversed polarity due to hangul?
Second, Arthritis is vying for some attention. It mostly comes in the form of severe fatigue...the kind that forces me, FORCES ME to find the two swivel chairs in the breast feeding mother's lounge of our church and nap between Relief Society and Sacrament Meeting. That means that I miss sunday school. How much does insurance pay for the loss of one's soul?
Third, I've started doing yoga again. I'm now much more centered and much more sore. WAH WAH WAH!
NOW, for the good news. I got offered the contract at Creativy School in Seoul which means that I will have an actual job when I get there in February. But not just any job. I will be teaching kindergarten and afterschool programs...integrating music, theater, dance, painting and WORDS into my classroom. It's all very experimental for a Hogwan and perfect for a free spirit like me! I can't wait! They are interested in having me write and publish plays too...really too perfect. too too perfect. I think this is Heavenly Father's way of compensating for the fact that I have to learn to think backwards in order to speak Korean. Does insurance cover reversed polarity due to hangul?
Saturday, December 09, 2006
KaRyea!!!
I'm moving to Seoul Korea...just in case you didn't hear. I've been keeping the secret bottled up for about 2 months now while I finished making the decision, but I finally put in my two month notice at work and I just bought some of those vaccum packing bags for my international suitcases. I'm on my way! Now do you see why I had to have an ipod????
I'll tell you all about it in the next post. It's really exciting stuff. Speaking of stuff...is there anything of mine that you would like to buy? It's all got to go...Carrrrrrazzzy KaRyn's liquidating!!!!
I'll tell you all about it in the next post. It's really exciting stuff. Speaking of stuff...is there anything of mine that you would like to buy? It's all got to go...Carrrrrrazzzy KaRyn's liquidating!!!!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
The Ladies of the Harem of the Court of King Caracticus
Last night was an adventure, but the kind you wish never really happened. We went on visits to new girls in ye old Relief Society which are always very fun since I love hearing stories. It's rare that I get to be IN a story during said visits but this time, Sarah and I almost purposely inserted ourselves into one. One of the girls (hereafter refered to as A) we were going to visit had a bit of a strange living situation that we were not quite sure about from the get go. When we called A to schedule the visit, she invited us to come to dinner with her "roommate" who was according to A, a millionaire of middleeastern descent who, according to A, gave her money if she introduced him to pretty girls. She said she could use the extra cash and would we help her? Uh...can you read the headline now???...RS presidency caught in SL pimping scandal. Needless to say, According to ME, we did not have dinner with solicitous wealthy roommate. BUt we decided that it might be a good idea to check out the situation for ourselves since it sounded so very odd.
And so the adventure began...The house was certainly in a wealthy neighborhood and when A let us in, she mentioned that she was in the act of moving THAT night to a location in ogden to stay with one of the women that she had introduced to wealthy roommate. She said that roommate had a sick father who was being picked up from the airport that night and so she had to be out so that the sick father had a place to stay (odd because the house had like 5 bedrooms). We talked for a bit during which time A told us some fantastical stories about her life and experiences all of which were soooo very dramatic and a little unbelievable and I sat in a chair that was the mother of all massage chairs.
just as we were about to leave, roommate came out of his room. HE was way normal. Like stunningly normal and goodlooking and it suddenly became clear that he was actually kicking A out of his house, although he was trying to be moderately polite about it and that he thought we were there to help her move. Sarah and i offered our help and then hightailed it out of the very strange, awkward situation.
Later that evening after other visits..I realized to my horror that I had left my purse at the creepy house. The situation was grim- if my suspicions were correct, A who was a pathological liar who was moving to realms unknown in ogden had found my purse and picked it up, never to be seen again. OR A complete stranger (wealthy roommate)had it somewhere in his house and I only knew which house was his, but nothing else. So I made my friend come with me and we set out to stalk wealthy roommate and his sick father by sitting outside his house. After about 1 1/2 hours, a car pulled up and stopped suspiciously before turning into the driveway. I jumped out and went up to his window and it was obvious that he did not trust me. I explained that I had left the purse in his house (we knew it was in there because my friend had called it and we heard it ringing through the front door)and could I just run in and grab it. Note: there was no sick anybody in the car with wealthy roommate. Just a cute boy who was much less suspicious of me than WR. WR looked at me as though I had a secret bomb strapped to my chest but finally agreed to let me get my purse when I said that I didn't even really know A...that I was simply an innocent church-going girl who got sucked into her web of deceit (I forgot to mention to him that i was prone to fits of unmitigated drama). Turns out that WR hired A to keep house for him (and who knows what else...) but that it didn't really work out for a few reasons, mostly that she is pathological. Thus the sick dad story to remove the Kato Kailin of Salt Lake from his basement room.
I drove away with purse in hand thinking how very much like a weird Robert Altman film this whole experience turned out to be. Strange lives interconnecting in strange ways through odd characters. We really do live in a movie.
And so the adventure began...The house was certainly in a wealthy neighborhood and when A let us in, she mentioned that she was in the act of moving THAT night to a location in ogden to stay with one of the women that she had introduced to wealthy roommate. She said that roommate had a sick father who was being picked up from the airport that night and so she had to be out so that the sick father had a place to stay (odd because the house had like 5 bedrooms). We talked for a bit during which time A told us some fantastical stories about her life and experiences all of which were soooo very dramatic and a little unbelievable and I sat in a chair that was the mother of all massage chairs.
just as we were about to leave, roommate came out of his room. HE was way normal. Like stunningly normal and goodlooking and it suddenly became clear that he was actually kicking A out of his house, although he was trying to be moderately polite about it and that he thought we were there to help her move. Sarah and i offered our help and then hightailed it out of the very strange, awkward situation.
Later that evening after other visits..I realized to my horror that I had left my purse at the creepy house. The situation was grim- if my suspicions were correct, A who was a pathological liar who was moving to realms unknown in ogden had found my purse and picked it up, never to be seen again. OR A complete stranger (wealthy roommate)had it somewhere in his house and I only knew which house was his, but nothing else. So I made my friend come with me and we set out to stalk wealthy roommate and his sick father by sitting outside his house. After about 1 1/2 hours, a car pulled up and stopped suspiciously before turning into the driveway. I jumped out and went up to his window and it was obvious that he did not trust me. I explained that I had left the purse in his house (we knew it was in there because my friend had called it and we heard it ringing through the front door)and could I just run in and grab it. Note: there was no sick anybody in the car with wealthy roommate. Just a cute boy who was much less suspicious of me than WR. WR looked at me as though I had a secret bomb strapped to my chest but finally agreed to let me get my purse when I said that I didn't even really know A...that I was simply an innocent church-going girl who got sucked into her web of deceit (I forgot to mention to him that i was prone to fits of unmitigated drama). Turns out that WR hired A to keep house for him (and who knows what else...) but that it didn't really work out for a few reasons, mostly that she is pathological. Thus the sick dad story to remove the Kato Kailin of Salt Lake from his basement room.
I drove away with purse in hand thinking how very much like a weird Robert Altman film this whole experience turned out to be. Strange lives interconnecting in strange ways through odd characters. We really do live in a movie.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
tragedy or comedy?
I saw the movie "Stranger than Fiction" over the holiday weekend when I was in portland. LOVED IT! it's been a long time since I've seen a movie that didn't make me feel stupider for having watched it...especially poignant because I came home from PDX and quickly rented "American Dreamz" during which movie I wished I were just a little bit dead. Stranger than Fiction however was literary, smart and well acted. I didn't even really mind will ferrell. That was a shock.
My favorite part of the movie was when Harold Crick was trying to figure out if he lived in a tragedy or a comedy...he took a notebook with him to work and tallied up the experiences that could lead him to believe that he was engaged in either genre. 1 comedy tally for a joke that he told to his love interest, 1 tragedy tally for the joke failing miserably and so on and so forth.
Here are a few of MY plot lines...are they comedy or tragedy????
Ninny's body in denile that it is really healthy. Fingers heading toward senile old lady arthritic claws. Can't get out of bed on time for the life of her. Eyes will not open. I think tragedy, but kind of comedy if you get to watch me groping around in the morning to hit my alarm.
Ninny can not have dairy products or artificial sweetners or REAL sweetners in an attempt to stop claw hand development. NO DIET COKE AT ALL. NOTHING EVEN REMOTELY YUMMY YESTERDAY. tragedy. tragedy. tragedy.
Ninny's new ipod goes missing. Thinks it has been left in the laundry room on Saturday while rushing around. Begins to weep and be pissy because she has waited so very long for said ipod and WHY GOD WHY??? Finds ipod in drawer right where it should have been after a full day of kvetching and dramatic angst. comedy. sheepish sheepish comedy.
Ninny and friend Scottish Mark (who you will recall receives free stuff at the underground subway) sing "Baby It's Cold Outside" at ward christmas party. They forget some of the words which normally embarrasses me (tragedy) but ended up being funny about it, so I think it came out COMEDY!!! in the end.
Ninny realizes that her teeth are flipping over on themselves, thus ruining the three years of painful surgery and braces to have the most delightful smile this side of the atlantic. Wearing retainer to bed becomes painful necessity. In the morning, Ninny wakes up with no retainer in her mouth and finds it unceremoniously thrown across the room, evidently rejected by her body in the middle of the night. She must now wear her retainer to work. comedy and tragedy all rolled up into one because will probably get own tv show called Ugly Ninny and it will be a hit.
My favorite part of the movie was when Harold Crick was trying to figure out if he lived in a tragedy or a comedy...he took a notebook with him to work and tallied up the experiences that could lead him to believe that he was engaged in either genre. 1 comedy tally for a joke that he told to his love interest, 1 tragedy tally for the joke failing miserably and so on and so forth.
Here are a few of MY plot lines...are they comedy or tragedy????
Ninny's body in denile that it is really healthy. Fingers heading toward senile old lady arthritic claws. Can't get out of bed on time for the life of her. Eyes will not open. I think tragedy, but kind of comedy if you get to watch me groping around in the morning to hit my alarm.
Ninny can not have dairy products or artificial sweetners or REAL sweetners in an attempt to stop claw hand development. NO DIET COKE AT ALL. NOTHING EVEN REMOTELY YUMMY YESTERDAY. tragedy. tragedy. tragedy.
Ninny's new ipod goes missing. Thinks it has been left in the laundry room on Saturday while rushing around. Begins to weep and be pissy because she has waited so very long for said ipod and WHY GOD WHY??? Finds ipod in drawer right where it should have been after a full day of kvetching and dramatic angst. comedy. sheepish sheepish comedy.
Ninny and friend Scottish Mark (who you will recall receives free stuff at the underground subway) sing "Baby It's Cold Outside" at ward christmas party. They forget some of the words which normally embarrasses me (tragedy) but ended up being funny about it, so I think it came out COMEDY!!! in the end.
Ninny realizes that her teeth are flipping over on themselves, thus ruining the three years of painful surgery and braces to have the most delightful smile this side of the atlantic. Wearing retainer to bed becomes painful necessity. In the morning, Ninny wakes up with no retainer in her mouth and finds it unceremoniously thrown across the room, evidently rejected by her body in the middle of the night. She must now wear her retainer to work. comedy and tragedy all rolled up into one because will probably get own tv show called Ugly Ninny and it will be a hit.
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