Thursday, March 04, 2010

Pocket Eggs

Sometimes I have poor judgement. Like yesterday when I convinced myself during my morning frenzy, that it was entirely possible to carry two raw eggs in my coat pocket all the way from my house to the bus to the streets of DC. In the moment, my logic was rock solid...pockets are made to protect- they protect my hands from the searing wind every day! Eggs are stronger than they look- I once dropped an egg and NOTHING happened. I'm careful and painfully aware of my surroundings and will anticipate any and all danger to the eggs.

AND once when I was in the 5th grade, my friends and I carried around egg babies like freakyfreaks for weeks with only minor damage (see what good MOTHERS we will be!?).

But the truth: egg shells are wimpy assed excuses for underarmor. Pockets pick and choose what they will protect and how much protection they will actually offer. And though I am generally extremely aware of my surroundings, sometimes storm doors come out of nowhere and slam into your side. The side with the eggs in the pocket.

And all you can do is stick your hand in the eggy pocket, scoop out the evidence of your stupidity, throw it in gloppy snot-like fits all over the front lawn, gently chatise yourself with "of course" and go back inside to rinse it all out. Then you find two new eggs and this time, put them in a screw lid container, encased in papertowel, safely tucked in plastic grocery bag. Sigh.


Marianne & Clayton said...

Ok, so pockets suck, but oh man! That is the kind of thing I always do and it always makes me extra, extra mad at myself, but I look everywhere else for someone to blame. This time I would blame the eggs!

lenalou said...

I realise this isn't exactly the point, but why on earth did you WANT to carry raw eggs anyway?

Ninny Beth said...

well, you know that first half hour of work where you check your email and make breakfast and google washington DC roller derby? Well, I've recently started making a little microwave McSandwich with egg whites. Yum.

ram said...

Hmmm... how metaphorical. On so many levels.

luminainfinite said...

ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahaha!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!