Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Rituals of the End

I had a pretty important realization as I prepared to make my exit from DC to the land of Provo. I've been doing this forever...this leaving thing. I even have rituals that have been cultivated over the years. You've probably been part of one of my rituals and if you haven't, don't worry, I'll leave somewhere soon and you won't be spared. Here's how it goes:

1. I stop answering phone calls and text messages and email

2. I start hording bubble wrap and smallish boxes, sometimes stealing them from the amazon boxes that come to work

3. I begin organizing my memories, in shoe boxes, to be exhumed sometime in the near distant future and maybe stuck to a cork board in my new location to remind me of where I've just come from

4. I plan a concert

5. I pretend that I am crafty and stay up late into the night making handmade gifts (water color magnets, felted t-shirts, picture frames) for the people I love. Never mind that I haven't done anything of the sort the entire time I've been's a gift entirely cultivated to say farewell.

6. I find a person or people in my new location to fixate on so that I can be excited about the moving on, the leaving behind, the changing

7. I stop cleaning

8. My mom comes to help me pack all my belongings into very small spaces and drive with me to where e're it is I'm going (this one doesn't apply to korea - She's too afraid of long flights)

9. I mourn the sadness by eating things, lots of things. Hopefully I'm mostly eating them with friends, but sometimes I just eat them by myself. I gain at least 5 pounds

And I did it again. Here are some pictures to prove it. Don't freak out if this looks at all familiar from the last time I left you. Its just what I do, evidently.

The Triple Threat Diva Concert. Three roommates, all musicians, all the time. I had been trying to make this concert happen since February, but it was a perfect capstone to the amazing house that I lived in. Patti Papworth, Shannon Simmons and I each performed our own songs and a couple of collaborative three part harmony songs. The highlight for me was Patti playing a drum during "Oh, Seoul". She added this whole element of Korea to the song that was missing when I play it by myself. Talk about painting a picture. Amazing. I love these girls.
> Patti sings JAZZ.
We sang, "Down in the River To Pray" by alison was ril cool.
Patti was the drummer in the band. Do you have a crush on her? Everyone always has a crush on the drummer.
some well loved patrons of the arts.

Shannon sings ROCK and the ROLL.
My lizzie came all the way from Connecticut to be here in all her cute yellow-ness. That is true best friend.

People people everywhere. I think we fit 65 people in our living room, dining room and backyard. Although we are extremely boho, the scarves on the light fixture have a non-decorative purpose to help unusally tall people not bonk their heads on the unusually low dining room light. Obviously there has been a casualty before.

It was an amazing experience. Thanks to everyone who helped make this ritual what it was meant to be. A delicious farewell.
And I love Sang Hai Lung. I call her my old lady...emphasis on the MY. I was her lucky visiting teacher for the past year and she taught me so much about generosity and sass. Sister Lung had no front teeth and would often teach me lessons in broken english. When I broke up with SB, she was the first to console me by telling me as I cried in her living room, "He good looking man. But you better be single. Get married, is like bird in cage. Now you free. Be friend." Sang Hai came to America as a bride in an arranged marriage at 15. She worked hard at a restaurant that her husband wanted and bore 8 children, none of whom speak Chinese. She is now 80 years old and has crippling arthritis and joined the LDS church only 8 months ago. She is strong willed and determined and loves God. Its been a joy to be with her.

Here is my Ray...well packed to the hilt by my talented momma. Somehow she made my life fit and I love her for that and for much much more. It was amazing to spend so much dedicated time with her. I guess that's one blessing of being a single girl...

And of course, one final round with my roommates at Bob and Edith's...a special place where you can get pamcakes, scrapple, AND french fries. A place where no one asks questions and the homeless man who likes to come in and order lettuce is served with a smile. (please note that Patti is wearing her felted t-shirt!)
And then we drove.....

2,106 miles to be exact.


JonJon said...

Somewhere I still have the packet of our witty emails back on forth that you gave me when you left Portland.

Tamara said...

I'm assuming Patti is sisters with Shauna, seeing as I thought she was Shauna in your pics...?

I think your traditions are great. :) Keep em up!

Mary Lampros said...

KacapitalRyn, call us up when you get out here! That is quite the jacket photo of your music group there...I'm jealous. Wish I could've come to the concert! Love everything that you write. Send me your email address and I'll invite you to my blog if I haven't already...maryelampros@gmail.

love you!

Brielle said...

I'd like to know how to "felt" a shirt. Seriously.

MB said...

(sniff) this makes me miss you more...We only had ONE Korean party. But, I know we are somehow linked in the cosmos. Somehow. Love ya like a sis! (didn't that sound like I was signing your yearbook?!?)