Thursday, September 07, 2006

I Don't Need Anything...Except this Ashtray, the paddle game and the remote control..

Now that I have had an International adventure, I'm inconsistantly inconsistant. Somedays I wake up ready to take on the world. Other days I wake up tearful and nostalgic. Today is a tearful, nostalgic, whiney, stare at pictures and wish I was back in Adelaide sort of day. I may not have mentioned in my last blog that things went really well with Adam, but after three weeks, we just weren't ready to make any huge decisions about our future. So we've decided to remain friends but not pursue a "relationship", especially not a long distance one. Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah!!!!

We still talk, which is really important to me because we have such a wonderful friendship, but I'm finding something interesting in this mix. You may have noticed that I didn't write in my blog very regularly during the Adam months. The truth is that I saved all my best stories for him and now here I am feeling like I have no outlet for my stories...nowhere to put them but this sad, pathetic little blog. This is what happens when you date someone and it doesn't end with that wiping brow "dodged that bullet" feeling, I suppose. You turn into Navin Johnson (Steve Martin's character in "The Jerk"). Things don't work out the way you wanted or expected and so you try to be tough...well, *I* try to be tough. Remember that scene where Navin and Marie just broke up and he's leaving and he tells her that he doesn't need anything...but then he sees the ashtray and he picks it up and says, "except this" and then proceeds to collect a bunch of junk and say that he NEEDS IT? THat's me. Most days, I am tough KaRyn, She-who-has-been-alone-before and will be just fine. But on days like today, I'm running through the house with my pants around my ankles collecting my dreams and screaming, I NEED THIS!!! I NEED THIS!!!!

I have put a 2 month limit to my wallowing. Forgive me if I go over a little bit. Adam was really amazing and I don't think you get over amazing that quickly. Maybe I'm wrong. In the meantime, if you need to find me, I'll be under the covers blowing my nose and getting mascara stains all over my new down comforter.

5 comments:

Falula said...

I love you KaRyn. I am sorry things didn't work out the way you had hoped but at least you took the chance and went free falling into the unknown. Most people don't have the strength, power or confidence to take such a risk and for that you are my hero.

The Bad Guy!!! said...

KaRyn,KaRyn, I hate to be the one to say "I told you so" But somebody has to say what everyone is thinking...because....1. we do miss your wonderfully fresh and funny life that you so generously share with us through your Blog..ya sick I know but it the curse of reality TV.....2. I Don’t think anyone including yourself saw you as a Australian citizen...I mean come on thats were they sent convicts in the 1800's...3.I really dont see you as a farmer eating Floating pies and Vegemite....uhh...I have been trust me peas and Ketchup do not go together....4. Technically when he is asleep your suppose to be awake....that would be hard on the sex life.....5. What would you call your childeren..they would have mass identity problems later on in life...Think of the Children....6. Everyone hates George Bush in the world and your Republican....not good...7. You have a obligation to the marshes in Utah now!!!!...Hey someone’s got to do it....8. You suck at driving...can we say genocide...9. You have a obligation to you and your music that you haven’t fulfilled and I really don’t see some yodel playing in your band...and god isn’t letting you go anywhere I think till you realize your worth on the open market........ and #10!!!!!!!Becasue INTERNET RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE AUSTRALIAN!!!......well really we are all just jealous we want KaRyn all to ourselves………..But I guess everyone woman has the dream of Being Elizabeth in “The Man from Snowy River”….

Love Ya!!
Me

Kristin said...

Hey K-
So sorry it didn't end in a fantasy. I've been reading your blog for quite sometime and think you are amazing. Maybe you should come back to VA and have a slaw-dawg with me at Dairy Queen :) Take care!!
Kristin in Christiansburg, VA - the cool mama from your mission :)

slcup said...

K, I know exactly how you feel. I have also found myself running around grabbing memories and grasping on to them as if my very existence depended on those fleeting moments. You can wallow as long as you want, you're a ROCK STAR.

Mike said...

happy late birthday!