Now that I have had an International adventure, I'm inconsistantly inconsistant. Somedays I wake up ready to take on the world. Other days I wake up tearful and nostalgic. Today is a tearful, nostalgic, whiney, stare at pictures and wish I was back in Adelaide sort of day. I may not have mentioned in my last blog that things went really well with Adam, but after three weeks, we just weren't ready to make any huge decisions about our future. So we've decided to remain friends but not pursue a "relationship", especially not a long distance one. Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah!!!!
We still talk, which is really important to me because we have such a wonderful friendship, but I'm finding something interesting in this mix. You may have noticed that I didn't write in my blog very regularly during the Adam months. The truth is that I saved all my best stories for him and now here I am feeling like I have no outlet for my stories...nowhere to put them but this sad, pathetic little blog. This is what happens when you date someone and it doesn't end with that wiping brow "dodged that bullet" feeling, I suppose. You turn into Navin Johnson (Steve Martin's character in "The Jerk"). Things don't work out the way you wanted or expected and so you try to be tough...well, *I* try to be tough. Remember that scene where Navin and Marie just broke up and he's leaving and he tells her that he doesn't need anything...but then he sees the ashtray and he picks it up and says, "except this" and then proceeds to collect a bunch of junk and say that he NEEDS IT? THat's me. Most days, I am tough KaRyn, She-who-has-been-alone-before and will be just fine. But on days like today, I'm running through the house with my pants around my ankles collecting my dreams and screaming, I NEED THIS!!! I NEED THIS!!!!
I have put a 2 month limit to my wallowing. Forgive me if I go over a little bit. Adam was really amazing and I don't think you get over amazing that quickly. Maybe I'm wrong. In the meantime, if you need to find me, I'll be under the covers blowing my nose and getting mascara stains all over my new down comforter.