and in news of the bizarre....

I think I just got punched in the gut by Korea. No, literally. I was walking on the street at approximately 8:30 pm after purchasing some ttakboekki and illegal DVD's when an old Korean man walking toward me reached out his hand and punched me in the gut. And kept on walking. Being bumped into is a daily, nay hourly occurance in these parts and I don't even think twice about it anymore (watch out America) but this was definitely a straight up, no bones about it, PUNCH.

I've been reading a book called "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert which is a memoir of her travels through Italy, India and Indonesia. I'm only at the beginning of the book, but I've read enough to already be sick of her incessant gushing about her undying love for Italy...the seemingly day to day beauty and non-stop glamour that infuses itself into the core of her life, such that even paying the electric bill is a priviledge in dear, darling ITALY. I'm at the edge of my seat to see what going to the bathroom in Italy will ellicit.

Yes, I'm being sarcastic. And yes it is with good reason. This book that hovers near travelogue pornography is making it very very apparent to me that I do NOT feel the same way about Korea. My sarcasm is simply a mask for my true feelings of confusion and jealousy. Why don't I love Korea that way? Why am I not having an orgasmic experience every time I walk down the street and see old women hacking open pig heads and selling them to me? Lest you think I'm being flippant, I will reveal to you my secret concern: I am using Korea. For the money. For the experience. For the dot on my facebook "Where have I been?" map. I don't love you, Korea. Not yet anyway.

And other people DO love Korea in that all consumming way, so it must be possible. Lumina is leaving in 6 months and she's desperately trying to figure out how to do it without breaking her heart. Other foreigners I've met leave and come back, transfixed by this place like a co-dependent lover. Perhaps I will get there and I just haven't found my touchstone yet? I've done everything I know how to do to make it happen and there ARE signs of it's eventuality. I have found many amazing Korean friends who teach me everything about the culture. I have immersed myself in the food and find that I CRAVE gochujong. In fact, it feels a bit unnatural to use a fork when perfectly good chopsticks are available.

But don't you see? That's what makes what happened tonight so maddening and bizarre. I'm trying. I'm here. I'm learning your language. Yes, I stand inches above everyone on the bus. And yes, you can't miss my "yellow" hair that screams, FOREIGNER!!!! like a suburban kid at a concert in the early 80's. But I'm working on falling in love here; you could at least wait to punch me after we've had a true falling out.

You wouldn't understand...

It's a korea thing. Waterbottle Leiderhosen = near vomitous laughter on the KTX.

PS. more proof that I am a long haired girl...this is me with a hard earned lime for my erstwhile Diet Coke. What I didn't realize when this sentimental picture was taken was that I would soon forsake the drink that I have loved for so long. It was time. I was squirreling away coke zero bottles for the sabbath and waking up with the thought "where can I get a diet coke today?". I've been off the juice for over a week now and I'm feeling really good about it.

Pictures of the amazingly fabulous birthday party to come.

Can We Talk?

Life is good. Korea is good. I am going to Hong Kong at the end of September and next year, I will probably travel to Japan and China, maybe even Thailand and Singapore. Somewhere, beyond my wildest expectations, I have become a girl who has a passport with more than a few stamps. And when I am done living in Asia, I have a world of opportunity open to me...grad school? sure! Rockstardom? If I want to try. European vacation? Probably. And yet, I'm jealous of my friend who has a house and a husband and a baby and a refrigerator full of vegan food for her diet.

Those of you who have known me for a while, understand that I try really hard to always be excited about the process of life...it's different for all of us and each variation has positives and negatives. I get this. I'm not dumb enough to believe that my friend's life is everything she wishes it was. And I am happy with my variation most of the time. I get to teach art to beautiful little people. I have amazing friends from college, mission and adulthood and have developed strong friendship bonds with my family. I make enough money to live comfortably and I am striving to live sustainably which makes me happy. I have a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ that fuels my passions and constantly guides me toward choosing a higher existence.

It has been a year since my last serious relationship though. Luckily, I realized halfway through the last year that I have been "emotionally unavailable" and so have been working really hard to re-open myself to the possibilities. I'm putting it out to the universe that I am ready for a deeper level of connection in my life. I'm ready to sacrafice more and give more and care about myself less. I'm ready to be vulnerable, write songs about love and get hurt if it's necessary. I am ready to know someone else and to feel the full spectrum of emotions that come with it. I'm choosing this now.

Dear Origami

I'm just not that into you. I can't explain it except to say...fold fold fold and bird. big whoop. Yes, I live in Asia. And no, I still don't enjoy following blueprints in my spare time. I'm sure your hungry bats and intricate folded dollar hearts are great fun for someone, but it can't be me. I'm not the one.

Come On Come ON Let's go....

TO SHA SHA CAMP! ah ha! you thought that title was some cool punk song from the 80's or something didn't you? oh no. it's the never ending soundtrack to my life for three days of my summer break. I'm not really sure what I smoking when I signed up to teach at a summer camp during my precious free time, but the results look something like this...

That's counselor dan. He's really excited to greet the parents as they enter the gates of the miniature castle school that we taught at. I don't have any pictures at the moment of the tiny campus, complete with tiny sinks, tiny toilet stalls and tiny chaise lounges...but suffice it to say that it was tiny. Tiny and freakish. Freakishly tiny and freakishly disturbing.

Actually Daniel and D'Arcy, the visiting camp counselors from America (and sibling/friend of my friend Emily) saved the experience. We were fast friends and I honestly couldn't have asked for funnier, better cohorts. I got to seem really cool and well versed in Korean culture and language and they got to experience spaghetti that looked like spaghetti but was actually... spaghetti in BBQ sauce. I think it was a pretty fair trade.

We took some very funny pictures of the trip home on the KTX (the french train that goes like 150 miles and hour and gets you to Busan in 2/3 the time it would take on a traditional train) and laughed so hard that I almost threw up (no joke).

Since no summer vacation is really complete without an amusement park, Daniel and I went to Eb ah land uh (that's Everland if you're translating) on Friday and had too much fun at this funny Korean version of Disneyland. We got there just in time for the Summer Splash Festival in which Russian water nymphs (seriously, amusement park entertainers shipped in from Russia and nary a Korean in the act) shooting at us with large firefighter pressure hoses and singing delightful songs in Korean. From the webpage:

"The biggest thing to see from the festival is the "Splash Parade" that uses 20-tons of water that is something different from anywhere in Korea including Everland. Splash Parade has the idea from splash where it uses the water that the guests are directly under the massive amount of water."

Doesn't this family look like it's having a blast???? Evidently the russian water nymphs spray acid, because they hand out protective clothing akin to that worn at a nuclear reactor meltdown...

ahhhh Korea!

I jumped right into the action but D stood back a little and was able to comment that he had never seen so many soaking wet, crying, traumatized children in one place ... And then there was America Land...a big tribute to all things american including apparently, easy women (all the drawings were of large-breasted, come-hither eyed ladies of the evening), fatty fast foods (the only eating place was burger barn or something like that)` and the suburbs (moms in high heels pushing baby strollers?).

Ebahlanduh signaled the end of all that is good and wonderful about being a teacher. Here in Korea, the summer break lasts ONE WEEK. sigh. Monday it was back to work and I've been in a bit of a rotten funk ever since. Partially it's because I really loved hanging out with Daniel and D'Arcy...they reminded me so much of home and all my friends...they live in SLC too, so if you don't know them, you should try. Partially I am in a funk because I am trying to turn 30 at the end of this month. It's going to happen regardless, but I'm really trying to do it in a way that won't freak me out. I think all that over the hill stuff is outdated...30 really is the new 20, but I'm surprised to find that I'm still a little weirded out by the prospect of leaving my 20's. Meh.

Can you believe it's been a year since Australia? So wild.