Life is good. Korea is good. I am going to Hong Kong at the end of September and next year, I will probably travel to Japan and China, maybe even Thailand and Singapore. Somewhere, beyond my wildest expectations, I have become a girl who has a passport with more than a few stamps. And when I am done living in Asia, I have a world of opportunity open to me...grad school? sure! Rockstardom? If I want to try. European vacation? Probably. And yet, I'm jealous of my friend who has a house and a husband and a baby and a refrigerator full of vegan food for her diet.
Those of you who have known me for a while, understand that I try really hard to always be excited about the process of life...it's different for all of us and each variation has positives and negatives. I get this. I'm not dumb enough to believe that my friend's life is everything she wishes it was. And I am happy with my variation most of the time. I get to teach art to beautiful little people. I have amazing friends from college, mission and adulthood and have developed strong friendship bonds with my family. I make enough money to live comfortably and I am striving to live sustainably which makes me happy. I have a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ that fuels my passions and constantly guides me toward choosing a higher existence.
It has been a year since my last serious relationship though. Luckily, I realized halfway through the last year that I have been "emotionally unavailable" and so have been working really hard to re-open myself to the possibilities. I'm putting it out to the universe that I am ready for a deeper level of connection in my life. I'm ready to sacrafice more and give more and care about myself less. I'm ready to be vulnerable, write songs about love and get hurt if it's necessary. I am ready to know someone else and to feel the full spectrum of emotions that come with it. I'm choosing this now.