Monday, January 22, 2007

I Am Sorry I Am Leaving

I am sorry I am Leaving
I am sorry I must Go
How I wish you could taste the salt in my tears
Then you'd know, you would know...




How your valley's have held me captive
I've been taken by your dead sea
I long for that Green River to wash me away
And make me clean, make me clean



The voices of your spired city
Sing my name in distant dreams
And I would climb to the heights of your mountain in the skies
to set me free, set me free



Well, I came to you nothing but a child
following your light upon the hill
And I am going out a woman no more haunted by the past
You hold me still, you hold me still



And I am sorry I am leaving
I am sorry I must go
How I wish you could taste the salt in my tears,
Then you'd know. You Would Know.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Discoveries

I have a special treat for you today...this picture was rediscovered during my moving preparations



I'm pretty sure that this is the picture that prompted the generational move AWAY from perms. Please notice the hair...please just gaze for one moment at the long brown-ness of the hair and imagine the work that went into that coif. My mother told me once that I never washed it and after rediscovering this picture, I might actually have to agree with her. Even after all that, I still never could acheive the true wall o' bangs that Nancy Jorgenson had. What I don't really understand is my lumberjack shirt and why I wore it on picture day...I must have thought it was pretty hot. And the blue glasses. Oh those blue glasses...funny thing? I picked up my new glasses from costco last night and they are RED!!! Ninny reliving her adolescence? Perhaps, but this time I'm determined to wash my hair more than every three weeks.

Oh, and here's another fun "scanned" gem...my diploma. No NO, I'm not in the habit of gazing lovingly at the stupid thing (in fact it's been in an envelope in the bottom of a filing cabinet for the 8 years I've been out of school and I'm surprised I knew where it was) but I did have to send it korea...and when I pulled it out of the protective dust covering I noticed something odd...



UMMMMM....Does anyone else think that this looks fake???? I mean, can't they at least give it some kind of gold foily stamp thingy? Nice diversionary tactics with the latin, but latin is free...you'd think after $120,000, they could spring for a little metallic paint.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

I'm NOT DEAD YET...estate sale and concert...


KaRazy KoRean KaRyn’s
“I’M NOT DEAD YET”
Estate Liquidation Sale
EVERYTHING MUST GO! Books, CD’s (good ones!), jewels, clothes, furniture, kitchen
stuff, Napolean Dynamite bobbleheads and more…SATURDAY January 20th, 2007
10 am – 4pm (243 South Temple #17)
Check out some of the items for sale at www.koreaorbust.shutterfly.com


(BUTTONS FOR SALE AT THE SHOW!!!!!)

AND Later that evening (1/20/07)….
Join KaRyn and the Bens for a final
Farewell Salt Lake concert & party.
8pm (music starts at 8:30)
480 Douglas Street, SLC
Charelle, Angie & Kristen’s Goodbye Emporium
bring a chair if you want one

Friday, January 05, 2007

Drama Drama Toil and Trauma

I would just like to state for the record that I AM STRESSED OUT. To the max. No. beyond the max. So if you are looking for me to be reasonable, forget it. If you are hoping that I will be rational, WRONG. If you think I'm being selfish, I am. If you want me to think beyond myself, I can't. Three reasons I am stressed out:

1. I am moving to Korea.
I am leaving everyone and everything I know and going to a country where I do not speak the language or eat the food. I am selling all of my stuff. I am leaving a job where I have a desk and a name and comfortable responsibility and coworkers who like my general sense of retardation. They take it in stride when I say stupid stuff. I am leaving my family and friends who at least pretend to love me and do not feel it appropriate to tell me that I am fat or have acne most of the time. This stresses me out.

2. I am moving to Korea and some damn snowboarders making a video kept me up all night.
It's true. About three weeks ago, I couldn't get into my parking spot because some enterprising young wippersnappers with pants around their ankles (which, somebody help me, pants have the goal of making the wearer's legs look positively miniature? Like midgets on purpose? AND WHAT HOLDS THEM UP? And does what holds them up hurt for the holding them up? That's all I want to know.)had built a ramp and were sliding dangerously on the ramp above my parking spot, and trying to LAND the trick on some snow they had shoveled into my spot. They were filming this so I played cool. I mean, I have a brother who was a skater and I'm down with inventive ways to make money. In the end, the snowboarding riffraff were delighted by my coolness and waddled over to thank me. They even shoveled the snow out of my spot.

What I'm not down with is waking up at 1 am to the sound of a generator chugging away and a loud voice saying 3, 2, 1 and then what sounded like a board sliding down the ramp, hitting the top of my car and then slamming into the concrete below. I must have the ears and the imagination of a bat (although I don't know what a bat's imagination is like) because immediately upon hearing that sound last night, I startled out of bed POSITIVELY sure that what I just described was happening. And DAMNIT, if my car was being used....So I rushed outside in my underpants and boots to discover that YES, they were filming and YES, they had reinforced ye old ramp, but this time they were sliding down the ramp and doing a side thingy on the wall above my car and falling (they would say "landing") on some snow next to my car. So I yell to the "photographer" DUDE, DUDE...he ignores me. So I yell louder, HEY! That finally got his attention and I screamed, "Is that my car??????" He said they weren't near my car but I would have none of it. I let him know under no uncertain terms were they to screw up my car or I was going to be.....PISSED. That's right. I mustered a big fat "PISSED". That's like threatening to kill someone with a banana. hard core. I stomped back into the house kind of annoyed that I hadn't said something angrier to the men with midget pants. BUT somehow it worked and I was finally able to sleep for like 5 hours. I don't do well on little sleep. And my car was fine in the morning.

3. I'm MOVING TO effing KOREA (did I mention that part?) and I just had mouth surgery.
Ok, so you get the whole moving thing, but I really need to reiterate that I do not handle being sick well. Come on, you and I have been together for over a year now, YOU KNOW THIS ABOUT ME. Remember iritis? yeah. So I'm a baby but being sick makes me anxious and nervous. And it adds to my general pissy, selfishness. But honestly, you're going to break up with me over that?

I need to sleep. Hopefully, barring any snowboarding incidents tonight, I will be a happier person tomorrow, far far away from the drama of today.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Face the Size of Montana


This is me today:
Maybe I don't look any different to you, but if you look closely you will see what appear to be cottonballs stuffed into my stage right cheek...it's not cottonballs. It's my face. I had oral surgery to correct an infection in my tooth root. I don't really have to have the icepack secured to my head, but it makes for a better photo and more justification for my sad whining. Don't I look sad and pathetic? Don't I look tragic? Don't you want to bring me a "get well milkshake"?


This is one in a series of weird doctors appointments I am trying to finish up before I leave the US. You wouldn't believe how many things you need to do to move to another country. Sell all your stuff, put the stuff you don't sell somewhere, get new glasses, say goodbye to everyone, go to seattle to get a visa from the Korean Consulate, finish your taxes, learn another language, buy pants, shoes and bras (because evidently I will not be able to find anything that fits me in my new skinny country), lay on your couch as much as possible before your house is no longer your house anymore, go through all your papers and throw away stuff you really don't need to keep....the list goes on and on. And I'm starting to feel anxious and overwhelmed like how you want to barf right before the final round of a karaoke contest. I'm less than a month away from leaving salt lake. Weird.