Love = ceramic hearts+ handwritten notes

Thank you, R. I taught you the word "homesick" and you taught me about compassion.

If you are ever looking for something to serve as a miracle in your life...I present these little people...old souls who are the culmination of their families spiritual gifts and talents who know more about the things that really matter than all of our collective adult "wisdom". I am humbled to be part of their lives. God really knows what He's doing.

Things I remembered that I forgot

1. I forgot that I love www.toothpastefordinner.com but now I remember.

2. I forgot that when I was 14, I thought 31 year olds were old and freaky and not cool, but I recently remembered as I was at a movie with a smattering of tweens who were all pretending they didn't know who we were, even though we were the ones with their movie tickets and drivers licenses.

3. I forgot that I am an ENFP in meyers briggs land but when I finally remembered, it also jogged my memory of all my flaws. Which are many. (yeah, like I could forget that...especially since I remember that I'm also a virgo which reminds me that I'm doubly screwed...self-absorbed and highly aware of it. BLURG!)

4. I forgot (but my older brothers and their GI Joes certainly didn't) that I don't make very good bombing, helicopter and gun explosion sounds. Had I remembered this very important bit of information sooner, I may have avoided this very awkward and weird "sound effect" phase in which I am currently stuck. Has this ever happened to anyone else???? Like, instead of saying a word, I make a noise. Example. Someone says, "Hey, you're a totally and utterly self-absorbed, fruity ENFP, aren't you? I can tell by the way you whore for attention at any given moment!" to which I reply with a perfectly pitched, "DING!" and follow it up with a lower, more sophisticated "Merp." It's completely out of my control and the worst part is how I can't even seem to approximate a machine gun when necessary after all these years.

5. I also forgot, but now choose to remember that I can choose my life. That's more serious and lest I bore you with the depths of my mental pinings, just imagine that for years you thought everything you did was on some sort of string being manipulated by someone else and then you realize that there is a string, but you've got it in your hands. There's no puppet master, only a loving God who hands you a blank pad of paper before the show and says, "make it up. I'll make it work for your good if you love me." That's a really amazing reminder during times of transition.

I got interviewed

check out this blog by Arthur Hatton. He features LDS musicians who aren't Colors and this week-ish, he's featured me.

Linescratchers

No pressure.

Hunger of Memory

It's historic. America elected Barack Obama and I wasn't even there to watch it unfold, to be part of the changing of the guards. I was in a classroom, writing November 5th on the blackboard and feeling like a true ex-patriot. It's a little like the 13 year old version of myself, sitting at the kitchen window, straining to see what's happening at Dawn Balliet's party across the street and trying to figure out why I wasn't cool enough to get invited. You know the worst part? This time it's all my fault. I didn't vote. I missed the deadline for the absentee ballot. I didn't register in time. I didn't cash in on my american right and by extension, I didn't become passionate about it one way or the other. I didn't learn enough about the candidates and the issues because it wasn't shoved in my face. I was lazy. I was supposed to demand entrance into that damn party at Dawn's house, and I just walked away and bought a Krispy Kreme donut in Gangnam and watched a Korean game show instead.

And now, I am totally and utterly homesick. Like the kind of homesick where I just sit and cry and hate everything about Korea. I wish I was in America right now so that I could be feeling something about this election result. ANYTHING except the sort of wishy washy ambivalence that I feel. I hate that everyone else gets to be passionately disappointed or passionately excited and I can only wonder what the news means for the falling won and my monthly money transfer. I know...I chose this. Self-imposed on many levels. You know I just really hate to miss a party.

And I miss my family. I miss my passionately political dad and his opinions that are so often at odds with my own.

So tonight, I will eat an apple, send a few emails and curl up in my bed and look forward to a rested tomorrow when I can hug a little korean kid who is speaking beautiful broken english at me. God bless America. Everyone.

I lied.

My life is not really all about the fiber. It's all about the A's.

ABBA.

AFROs.

AIR GUITAR by chad gooch.

And to reward you for looking at my self-absorbed halloween pictures, I will tell you a secret.

I'm coming home! I've decided not to renew my contract for next year. I'll be back in Americaville as of March/April 2009. I'm excited for the next chapter...but it's nights like this Friday that make it just a little bit harder to think about leaving. You better be getting ready for me, America. I hope you have lots and lots of air guitars.