Friday, December 05, 2008

BAM! Crush UP! Crush Down!

May I introduce a few new concepts to your vernacular?

B.A.M. Boy Attention Moment (noun) A (pathetic) replacement for real dating and relationships meant to make you feel the soaring leap of hope necessary to prove to yourself that you are not slightly socially autistic.
friend: Um, were you crying during church today? I would have handed you some tissue to clean...well, you know...but I was kind of on a sacrament date and I couldn't really stop in the middle of the rub-down portion... I wanted him to ask me to Sunday School. You understand, right?
NB: Oh, yeah, no problem. Well, yeah, it was a rough day, but it's ok because tonight at the Break The Fast, ______________ (insert boy name) totally gave me a BAM! Like eye contact and everything. I think he wants to marry me.
Friend: excellent.

Crush Up (verb) moving your crush to level 2 (level 1 = facebook stalking) by making real life contact in some written or verbal form.
Usage: I totally crushed up on ________________ after blogstalking for many months and I think he really liked my comment on his facebook status. I think he wants to marry me.

Crush Down (verb) Taking your crush back down to level 1 shortly after a failed attempt at crushing up.
usage: I guess I will have to crush down as it appears ______________ was unimpressed with my comments on linkup, facebook, friendster and myspace. Do you think the unsolicited chat on gmail was too much?

Credit where credit is due...crush up (or is it crush down? I can't remember!) is a trademark of Bottari


Hey, It's Ansley said...

My girlcrush on you definitely just went up.

D'Arcy said...

BAM--I actually SAY that out loud, like Michael Scott of the Office when the moment of attention is being paid.

Oddly enough, I haven't been able to crush up for quite awhile now.

Krisanne said...

crush up was all you m'dear. i'll take the claim for crush down. we're takin' this to the streets.

Marie said...

Oh, I love new words. I'll try to find someone worth chasing tomorrow at church just so I can use your words.

ram said...

this should be in print, yo!