Monday, February 23, 2009

Today. Abundance. Possibility.

Something feels different today. Everything feels more connected, more possible, more available, more clear. There are uncontrollable unknowns and really big change on my horizon, including a one way plane ticket dated March 25th and somehow, I don't feel anxious. Yes, there is still a buzzing halo of "what ifs?" but I don't mind them. They are melting into "yes, what if!". Will you understand me when I say that I have a constant feeling of being together though I am solidly alone in this adventure? I have been and will continue to be my whole self no matter the outcome. I belong to something bigger than questions.

I tend to live my life as though every door half open door is begging to be kicked in. I lean into it. I push with both arms outstretched, body triangled, heaving breaths. But not this time. Right here, I wait. I stand back with confidence, enjoying that uneven trickle of spring air wafting from the space between. I am whole and wholeness is rich. I can afford the wait.

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