It is time for me to come clean. For the last couple of years, I have been telling people that I had this idea that it would be fun to name a dog "Grandpa"...for obvious reasons, chief among them the ability to yell things like:
"Grandpa, stop humping that tree!"
"Grandpa, if you don't get in this house right this minute, I'm going to bleep bleep your bleeping Grandpa bleep."
(late at night) "Grandpa! Grandpa! Where are you???"
and in a disgustingly sweet, schmoopy voice "Who's the best little poop machine in the neighborhood??? Grandpa is! Grandpa is!!!"
Sometimes I think about my fictional dog named Grandpa (fictional because if you're going to clean up feces, shouldn't it be a baby's instead of a dog's? At least the baby will someday do you the courtesy of reciprocating when you are in a nursing home.) and I laugh for like 30 minutes. It's just plain funny.
Now for the confession. I didn't actually think it up. I was telling my best friend that someone thought the grandpa dog story was funny and she asked "Did you give me credit?" and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had unduely STOLEN a story from my best friend. Is it because we are so close that what's hers has become mine and what's mine has become hers? Or is it just that I'm stealing stealer thief? I should have known that it was she who came up with something so bizarre and brilliantly funny. This is the same girl who bucked cultural mores by selling DESIGNS (not pictures, "designs") to passerby's instead of the more traditional lemonade when she was a child. I'm not kidding. The marketing was genius...who doesn't need a design??? Everyone with upholstery, wallpaper and print skirts could certainly use a design for the bargain price of 10 cents a design.
At any rate, today I'm giving credit where credit is due. SO if you know the girl of whom I speak,(hint: her name is Alie) post a little shout out to my girl...the funniest damn friend in the whole world. WE ARE FRIENDS!