Today I had microwaved greenbeans with my lunch. I cooked them, seasoned them and brought them with me to my desk with the intention of eating them. I need 5 fruits and vegetables a day on weight watchers, but even my newly found re-motivation to be healthy could not entice me to consume those shriveled little green things coated in black pepper and toxic spray butter. Instead, I consumed approximately 40 baking chocolate chips...you know those big disc-y kind that should not be eaten a la carte? They weren't godiva, but they were better than greenbeans. So there.
Call me petulant, I don't care.
Do you know that I didn't even remember my best friend's baby due date? Alta is having little KaRyn in like a week and I thought it wasn't until NOVEMBER. PS. no matter how hard I try, she doesn't really plan to name the little nipper after me...and I am finally ready to give up because I don't deserve to be a namesake if I can't even pay attention to the due date. What a crappy friend I've been since I got back from the land down under. I mean, I'll admit that part of my charm is my general narcissism...you KNOW it's true or else you wouldn't be reading my blog. If I didn't believe that my life was dramatic and interesting and fabulous, then I wouldn't want to write about it and you wouldn't voyueristically be reading about it. But come on. At some point, I have to stop thinking about me and realize that people are living around me...people I LOVE are creeping up to insanely adventurous thresholds of LIFE. What can possibly be more exciting and adventurous than bringing a life into the world...one that you are solely responsible for shaping and molding and could truly screw up if you aren't careful???
The point is that I acknowledge my weaknesses. I acknowledge that I do not always succeed in getting past myself. I am too loud at church and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I speak over people. I care too much what people think. I am petty and resentful. I eat the chocolate instead of the greenbeans. I avoid things that I don't want to deal with. I never shred my personal information before putting it in the dumpster. I tell everyone everything about my life and then regret it later. I have an overwhelming addiction to diet coke and fried chicken strips from Albertsons. I wash my hands after I touch your dog. I cry a lot and don't return your phone calls. I rarely follow through. But I'm trying to be better....I swear I'm trying and if I don't get it right before the baby is born...forgive me!!!!!!!