Tuesday, July 22, 2008

In Which NinnyBeth gives new meaning to the phrase Dirty Whore

Welcome to Boryeong. Peaceful oceanside town, ROK. Idyllic beach. Home of the "healthful wellbeing feeling of mud". And the not so healthful, wellbeing feeling of the Mudfestival (AKA foreigners with low self-esteem orgy). Kaja!
You say you'd like to go to the mudfestival? OK! First you have to nearly miss your Hana Tour bus and run desperately through pelting rain in the middle of city hall and accompanying underground subway mazes after chucking a 10,000 won at your taxi driver even though your fare was only 4,000. You should board your Tour bus (FINALLY!) wheezing and coughing, bright red and sweaty, to the cheers of your friends and the consternated looks of all the other patrons, because you have made the bus FIVE MINUTES LATE. And your skirt should be completely twisted around and manipulated so that the modest slit in the front is halfway up to your...well...you know. When you finally arrive at the Mudfestival, you will be grateful for the "energy pit stop" where you loaded up on choco digets and those little seashell cookies because there's a whole lotta wrastlin' to be done. And a whole lot of military men trying to smuggle massive beer bottles into the wrastlin' tub. You'll need the extra zip that korean snack foods give you to avoid getting maimed, molested or (shudder) ignored.
Here in Boryeong, we loll in mud while harnessed, strapped, connected, tied, attached, pulled, pushed and prodded on large blow up castles and other carnival-esque toys. Like your local church carnival? Remember?
Here's what you look like after the mudfestival has had its way with you...


And here's what you look like after the spicy hotdog and lack of sunscreen have done their job too....

And then you clean up in a $2 shower and go eat some yummy lunch in a restaurant that looks a little bit like a trailer.
On the way home, you will discover that the waterproof sunscreen you trusted is NOT mudproof. An old woman in the bathroom at the rest stop will slap your back and say "burning" as you examine your lobster red body in the mirror. You will appreciate the fact that she touched you and treated you like someone she knew...it means you are practically Korean (or seafood, as the case may be).
Thanks Boryeong! Thanks Korea! Thanks friends! Thanks mud!

5 comments:

luminainfinite said...

you look adorable KaRyn.

xo

Marie said...

I see you next to the same fella in several of these pictures -- could he be the gazelle that loved the cougar?

lenalou said...

Classic. You look great in mud, by the way.

D'Arcy said...

I keep missing this! So close last year and nothing!

Carrie said...

looks like a good time? Ü