Friday, December 02, 2005

What if Ron and Hermione have already had sex...

and JK Rowling just doesn't even know that.... that's why they're so hostile towards each other in book 6. I mean the average age for sexual experiences has gone down drastically in the last 10 years after all.

Adam says (check out his blog... www.bigguywhokills.blogspot.com) that adults who are into Harry Potter freak him out and if I recall correctly, they should be cowwrangled into mass group detox and forced to watch the musical "1776" 30 times in a row as penence... That 'll teach em to stop dressing up as 16 year old fictional brit wizards with a God complex and pimples.

I don't dress up as HP characters, but I did "accidently" see the movie two times during the THanksgiving break AND I just finished book 6. I'm finding ways to reference HP in more ways than I care to admit here, but my favorite is that I have decided to award points to the things that are good. A friend of mine at one of the weddings I recently attended said that he has started giving himself points after each particularly witty comeback during fights with his girl-friend (I'm sure they're still together...I'm just sure of it!)...ex:

Girlfriend: I don't like Harry Potter movies.
Paco: Well Harry Potter movies don't like you. 10 points Gryffindor!!!!

Ok, so here is my list of things that deserve points recently.

10 points to actual snow...not because I love snow but because it's MUCH better than drizzling sleety rain that we've been having. It's supposed to snow tonight. YAY!

45 points to getting stuff checked off your list at work. I mean the kinds of things you've been MEANING to do for a long time, but you don't ever and then you do it and you feel great!

62 points to finding mikasa plates that go with your set at DI on a saturday.

2 points to the scale at weight watchers...not exactly high earning, but at least deserving of an academy nod.

476 points to my girls for exemplary fortitude in the face of repetition. It's hard and it's scary, but they never cease to listen to my stories over and over and over again and give me needed advice!

5,000,000 points to IM. It makes my days bearable. It makes me less productive, but it keeps me socially connected.

-111 points to that lady who does the "human interest" stories on the fox channel in the mornings while I'm running on the treadmill. She's annoying and has stripey hair. I want her job.

-2 billion points to the leftovers from thanksgiving. That's all I'm going to say about that.

-3010 points to the jackasses who stole my friend's car and his ipod while we were hanging out on saturday night.

-22 points to me for being just a tiny bit vindicated when the ipod got stolen...just because I don't have one.

1909898987897898756645 points to God who knows my heart, my secret wishes and will certainly make santa give me an ipod for Christmas...I know it, I can feel it in my bones.

I don't know if God is really ok with me giving him points, but so far he's racked up a pretty high surplus...so maybe if the lady from fox is desperate, he can transfer a couple of points her way?
Just a thought.

8 comments:

Adam said...

I never mentioned the detox, and I defintely wouldn't force people to watch a musical. I'd put them in front of:
1. The 6 Star Wars movies in numebrical order
2. The 3 LOTR movies in order
3. Braveheart
4. World Of Warcraft

After that, they're gonna pretty much be just Adam-Clones®

assumeundone said...

That just might be the case with Ron and Hermione.
The points thing is a good idea...

Adam said...

Wait, I missed something. A Harry Potter fan had a girlfriend?!! Does that make him king of the HP nerds?

Ninny Beth said...

oh adam...oh adam...ask your WOW guild.

Kirsten J said...

When I hear the word "guild" I think of the FAG (film actors guild) from Team America.

It makes me happy.

Adam said...

Hold on, I'll ask our hard-core instance group, or as the rest of us call them: "those who will never know the touch of a woman".

Anonymous said...

I think it is just pubescent supresstion manifesting itself because the author has some dark secerts that have to get out. You know the kind, like the ones in the game shops, the role playing adults with the 12 year old kids. hummm---scary. Ron just hasnt come out yet.

Anonymous said...

God called me and told me he doesn't mind you giving him points but he'd like you to add more zeros next time. Especially in place of all the nines you put in there. For some reason, he has a thing against nines.

- Tawnya