Monday, January 09, 2006

What I did for Love...

I found it. I've got a 12 pack of Black Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke in my trunk and one chillin' in the fridge. It's delicious and refreshing and AHHHHHHH....so why do I feel so empty????

Call it fate, an aligning of the intergalactic planetary cosmos or what-have-you, but it was clear that the gods were whispering my name to the Coke Man at 12:38pm, aisle 12, Saturday January 7th at the Ghetto Albertsons. I turned the corner completely expecting to find the same thing that I have been finding...plenty of lime, plain, cherry, even the "set to expire" vanilla but no BCVDC. And that's exactly what I DID find, but there was something more, something exciting. A man, dressed in a coke outfit at the end of the aisle, making room on a shelf for some Sprite (an inferior, yet easily recognizable Coca-Cola product). He didn't cry VERY loudly when I gripped his arm and hissed in a voice akin to Golum, "WHERE IS THE BLACK CHERRY VANILLA??????". Perhaps he had been fielding this sort of desperation all week while simply fulfilling his delivery duties. He very calmly told me that Albertson's isn't going to have it any time soon and I'd better start shopping at the Smith's Marketplace if I ever hope to see the mystical object of my desire. I let go eventually, pointed him in the direction of the bathroom, and after cursing Albertsons, made my way to the 8th grocery/convenience store in 2 days...and that is where I found it...2 cases left with my name all over them (if I had legally changed my name to Black Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke).

Now it's Monday and we've become comfortable with one another, me and BCVDC. The thrill is gone. We're like the old couple sitting on the couch, watching "Welcome Back Kotter" reruns and farting with abandon. It all happened so quickly and the flame is out....Liz says that people with addictive personalities are intense but have a quicker burn-out rate than a normal person, so now I'm on the prowl. I need something elusive in my life to feed the fire. I'm taking applications....

6 comments:

Adam said...

Feed the fire with thousands of hours worth of good times.

Anonymous said...

I feel kind of like Black Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke is kind of a tease. You could do better.

- Tawnya

Falula said...

I think I should steal some of your BCVDC just for fun ;0)

Anonymous said...

I find your blog to be exceptional on so many levels. You have an unusual humor and a great story telling ability. I find myself laughing so hard at some of your stories. Keep'em comin'. Your SC sister.

Synergy said...

I have nothing but evil to reccomend. For starters you have Mrs. Fields mini-cookie cups. These are small, chewy, chocolate-chip cookies in the shape of a cup filled with the most heavenly-evil-bad-synthetic-frosting in the world. They are hard to find, thus the allure. You can get the big cookie cups, or frosted cookies, but the mini-cookie cups are what God intended us to reward ourselves with. I had more ideas but this is turning into a whole blog.

Rebky said...

You are hysterical!