Sister Daley Revisited

Do you remember when I was a missionary in West Virginia? Remember how I was terrifically depressed and anxious and ate biscuits and gravy with reckless abandon? Well, friends. Today marks a milestone. Thanks to lots of vegetables, lots of ellipticals and a slow and steady process of getting my health back, I've recaptured my pre-mission weight (although I look a little bit pregnant in this peacock dress/shirt, don't let it fool you, I'm all hotness and no baby :( ). I'm in this for the long haul. I am committed to those vegetables. In fact, I kind of love them. I'm committed to treating my body with respect and being strong, capable and POWERFUL. I can't do what I want/need to do without it.

PS. That really is a picture of Johnny from Karate Kid behind me. Thank you.

For No Good Reason

Why does listening to Ray Lamontagne = instant loneliness????

It's because

When he opens his mouth, my heart remembers everything it thinks it forgot.
There's a little bit of tragedy in the juxtaposition of soaring love dangling dangerously at the edge of vicious heartbreak in almost every song.
I'm eavesdropping on some wicked secret whispered to anyone but me.

Go ahead. Try it. I promise you'll feel it too and then you'll understand.

Jolene

Shelter

Stories I Will (probably not) Tell My Children: Part 2

Once I Had To Chose The Right and Probably Failed

One cold Costco evening, K and I were hauling bulk items back to our respective homes via bus. With the windows all fogged up on the bus, we had nothing to look at but the people. One of the people was a particularly attractive Korean man. I'm sure it was me who said, "Um, he's hot." at which moment, said Korean man looked over at us with raised eyebrows making it very clear that he spoke PERFECT english. (well, enough english to know "hot"). We giggled in horror and reminded ourselves silently that EVERYONE in Korea speaks english. When we disembarked and parted ways, K to the subway and I to another bus stop, I noticed that our bus friend was going in the same direction as me. We stood awkwardly at the light waiting to cross the street ( I pretended I didn't see him...a feat of no small accomplishment) and then stood awkwardly at the bus stop, again pretending I didn't see him.

Just as I was trying to figure out how I could pretend not to see him if we got on the same bus, something that has NEVER happened to me in my two years in Korea happened...bus friend leaned forward and started to hit on me (ok, so really he just started to talk to me, but let me have this one, ok?) Right when he was about to ask for my business card, the christmas bus appeared.

This bus is the mythical blue 470 from gangnam to jongno...bedazzled for two glorious months out of each year with sparkles, spangles and all manner of lights. I have dreamt about riding the christmas bus for about as long as I've dreamt about being talked to by a hot korean man on the streets of Seoul. And of course the fates chose to converge in a cruel twist at that very moment, making me choose between the two????? Well of course, we know which one I chose...as evidenced by the fact that I am sitting here on a Saturday night typing this story instead of drinking hot vanilla with my namja chingu. hrmmmph.

Once I Saw Korean Transvestites and Unicorns All In The Same Night

After a rousing performance of "The Rocky Horror Show" all in Korean, (a taste for mature bilingual audiences only ) in which they cleverly captured the essence of Dr. Frankenfurter (and had a funny little joke about the name Brad sounding like bread as pronounced by Koreans)...we stumbled upon an icesculpture exhibit outside taehangno. There were unicorns and iceslides. There were no other adults on the iceslide. And there were potholes. But it was lovely anyway.Once I Played Blackjack and Lost 5 Billion Dollars

This is Chansoo explaining the rules of blackjack and the value of this coin. He looks harmless doesn't he?

This is before it got ugly.Soon enough, I was all out of coins. I'm sure with my general dislike of round, flat, monetary thingys, this turn of events will not surprise you. J was the highroller of the evening. She swears she knows nothing of card games and sharking, but I heard her singing "The Gambler" quietly under her breath. Don't lie, J.When the chips are out, you've got to do a show. Some people chose to define that rather liberally.(picture omitted because I've already upset my grandma with that Rocky Horror stuff)In the end, everything was just fine. Fully clothed and just fine.Once I Worked At A Place Where Shoes Are In The Hallway and Children Are In The Closets.

This is T & J's version of playing with the cardboard box instead of the toy that came in it. We were supposed to be making a very cool dragon costume, but they spent the bulk of drama school sitting in the closet shaking tubes of sand and glitter. Sigh. So it goes.

Question

Does anyone know exactly how many WW points are in reconstituted fish parts marinated in scary brown dirt water??? because for some ODD reason, Weight Watchers DOESN'T list it in their catalogue of common foods?

Also, side note: I had a semi-sexual dream that included a trans-gendered German immigrant (Hedwig of the Angry Inch), a white trash barely-legal in a wife beater (who I made out with????) and some circus folk who were going to kill us at a picnic.

On Being a Jerk

One of the hazards of being me is a complete and utterly annoying self awareness. A sharp, pokey, overbearing self awareness. SO much so that I am perfectly aware when I spiral into jerkdom. Like watching a movie reel in slow motion...screaming to myself to cease and desist with any and all jerkish behavior only to realize that the other me (the one being a jerk) is deaf or dumb or both. It doesn't work. Especially when computers and poor communication abound. I can only feel like a crappy person after the fact because I am aware that I am not my highest self. I can apologize (which I do). I can ask for what I need in positive ways (which I try to do). I can cry in the bathroom stall at work (which I do). I can pray for a little more self control (which I do).

Oprah Style: My Favorite Things

1. Asparagus
this is news because for a very long time, I've had a disinterested/hate relationship with this stalk of green goodness. But I felt like asparagus was just something that a girl like me should like. So I bought some with the intention of pushing my palate. Luckily I landed on this recipe thanks to Krisanne. And voila! An asparagus acolyte is born.

2. Diclofenac
Oh that I was Oprah. How excited would you be to hear, "Everyone in the audience is takin' home an NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAIDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" ??? I thought so.

3. Santogold
So what if I'm behind the curve. I live in a country where the hot lyric of the moment is, "Nobody, nobody but you! (clap clap, clap! clap clap, clap!)" as sung by the wondergirls, (a korean girl group and pedophile's dream). Santogold is blowing my mind. Every song. Seriously.

4. TED!!!!
Did I already mention this?

5. Arthur
Cutest student on the planet. We are studying the opera Aida complete with love triangle and gruesome death by live burial. Arthur, who has a little perm and the sweetest smile, raised his hand during class to announce that he thinks he is like Radames, the Hero of Aida who is loved by two women. His reason? "All girls in Apple class love me, but I don't love." Can we have a moment of silence for the complexity of the Kindergarten social clime?

6. these wool socks
It's %$$# COLD here! And evidently I have seriously poor circulation. Sad but true that I wear these bad boys EVERY DAY.

7. ENTP personalities


8. smoked quail eggs
six of these little babies, which taste a little like a bacon-flavored rubber ball, and I've never been happier at breakfast.

TED!!!!!!

All the others were LOSERS. TED is the only one I care about now. SomeBody introduced us, and it was like, seriously, love at first sight. Now all I do is count the minutes until I can get in another 18 minutes with him.

He's intelligent! OK, so he's a little bit nerdy, but hey, aren't we all in our own quirky way?
He's funny...nay WITTY!
He's full of useful information and committed to helping the world (HUMANITARIAN=TED!)
He's never unavailable!
He's all about technology, entertainment and design which is kind of like dating a hot german architect and his esoteric iPod.

Wanna see TED?

What The Kids at Creativity School Are Singing These Days

Cosi Fan Tutte and other Saucy Tales of the Kindergarten

When I was in the 3rd, 4th or 5th grade (can't really remember), we went on a fieldtrip to the New York Metropolitan Opera where we were given a guided tour of the wig shop, costume closets and stage trap doors. I don't remember if I was mesmerized. I remember being creeped out by the wigs which were made of human hair. I'm sure that it has some bearing on my post elementary school musical pursuits which included a year in highschool learning about the different types of sopranos and contraltos and whathaveyou. But mesmerized by the opera at 10? Probably not.

So what happened today came as a welcome yet jarring surprise.

I'm out of tricks as a theater teacher. At our school, we teach the same kids for three years, in mixed grade classes which means that I have to develop curriculum that is not repeated from year to year and flexible so that it reaches both the new students who know nothing and the older students who know EVERYTHING. We've done it all at this point. Chinese Shadow Puppets, Set Design and construction, Musicals, Songwriting, Neighborhood paper bag puppet interviews, concerts, plays, lighting design, costume design, vocal exploration, emotions and acting, storytelling, african drumming, pantomime, dance combinations, blah blah blah. I'm grasping at straws for January and February so I thought I would take the easy route and just do something that I'm interested in but which might be really boring for the kids. OPERA.

Today, we talked about the difference between a straight play, a musical and opera. I busted out a few notes from some italian art songs that I learned ages ago. They plugged their ears, wrinkled their noses and said, "noisy!" This was to be expected. I even heard a few of the younger ones mumbling in Korean, "musicals are NOT fun. Boring!" I told them that I was going to show them an aria from "The Magic Flute" by Mozart. Did they know who Mozart was? All the hands shot up. YES! Then it started. A small boy who looks like a cross between Hansel and Gretel (if H&G were asian) with a perm began to hum the tune to "The Queen of the Night's Revenge Aria". You know, the high, twisty, flutey coloratura that makes you heave your diaphragm in sympathy?

I turned on my heels.

"M, are you singing the "Queen of the Night's Revenge?"

He smiled sweetly and said, "Yes." like it was the dumbest thing I had ever asked. Of course he was. Of course. And then I showed the other kids and they were RIVETED. Glued to the floor and the computer screen. "Again teacher! again!" "Why does that queen want to kill that man, sorastro?" "It sounds like screaming! A screaming flute or violin!"

After they couldn't get enough Magic Flute, I showed them a little scene from "Cosi Fan Tutte" which I had seen in Philadelphia in college. They loved it! "More! I want to watch the whole thing!" "Do the girls kiss the boys?" I finally turned it off when Ferrando began to cop a feel with Dorabella during the "fidelity test" in act two. But they weren't satisfied. I turned my back and someone clicked the screen and Mozart flooded the classroom. They worked quietly on their worksheets then, listening and absorbing this opera quartet's baudy little game in Italian.

Who knew? Now I just have to get up the energy to harvest this little crop of opera enthusiasts. Being a teacher is so rewarding and so positively draining...here's to a little more Mozart and a little less B.S. (that's Britney Spears).

Celebrity Look Alike

One time, someone said that I looked like Charlize Theron and I have never let anyone forget it. Most often, I get Drew Barrymore (complete with requests from my cousins ange and stephanie to repeat the phrase "alligators in the sewer"?) Sometimes, when I flat iron my hair, I can make myself look like David Bowie in Labyrinth. But this is my very first Buck Rogers comparison. You decide.

And in keeping with the television star theme, here's the celebrity I think SB looks most like...