The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. -Horace Walpole
Thursday, August 30, 2007
and in news of the bizarre....
I've been reading a book called "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert which is a memoir of her travels through Italy, India and Indonesia. I'm only at the beginning of the book, but I've read enough to already be sick of her incessant gushing about her undying love for Italy...the seemingly day to day beauty and non-stop glamour that infuses itself into the core of her life, such that even paying the electric bill is a priviledge in dear, darling ITALY. I'm at the edge of my seat to see what going to the bathroom in Italy will ellicit.
Yes, I'm being sarcastic. And yes it is with good reason. This book that hovers near travelogue pornography is making it very very apparent to me that I do NOT feel the same way about Korea. My sarcasm is simply a mask for my true feelings of confusion and jealousy. Why don't I love Korea that way? Why am I not having an orgasmic experience every time I walk down the street and see old women hacking open pig heads and selling them to me? Lest you think I'm being flippant, I will reveal to you my secret concern: I am using Korea. For the money. For the experience. For the dot on my facebook "Where have I been?" map. I don't love you, Korea. Not yet anyway.
And other people DO love Korea in that all consumming way, so it must be possible. Lumina is leaving in 6 months and she's desperately trying to figure out how to do it without breaking her heart. Other foreigners I've met leave and come back, transfixed by this place like a co-dependent lover. Perhaps I will get there and I just haven't found my touchstone yet? I've done everything I know how to do to make it happen and there ARE signs of it's eventuality. I have found many amazing Korean friends who teach me everything about the culture. I have immersed myself in the food and find that I CRAVE gochujong. In fact, it feels a bit unnatural to use a fork when perfectly good chopsticks are available.
But don't you see? That's what makes what happened tonight so maddening and bizarre. I'm trying. I'm here. I'm learning your language. Yes, I stand inches above everyone on the bus. And yes, you can't miss my "yellow" hair that screams, FOREIGNER!!!! like a suburban kid at a concert in the early 80's. But I'm working on falling in love here; you could at least wait to punch me after we've had a true falling out.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
You wouldn't understand...
Waterbottle Leiderhosen = near vomitous laughter on the KTX.


PS. more proof that I am a long haired girl...this is me with a hard earned lime for my erstwhile Diet Coke. What I didn't realize when this sentimental picture was taken was that I would soon forsake the drink that I have loved for so long. It was time. I was squirreling away coke zero bottles for the sabbath and waking up with the thought "where can I get a diet coke today?". I've been off the juice for over a week now and I'm feeling really good about it.

Thursday, August 16, 2007
Can We Talk?
Those of you who have known me for a while, understand that I try really hard to always be excited about the process of life...it's different for all of us and each variation has positives and negatives. I get this. I'm not dumb enough to believe that my friend's life is everything she wishes it was. And I am happy with my variation most of the time. I get to teach art to beautiful little people. I have amazing friends from college, mission and adulthood and have developed strong friendship bonds with my family. I make enough money to live comfortably and I am striving to live sustainably which makes me happy. I have a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ that fuels my passions and constantly guides me toward choosing a higher existence.
It has been a year since my last serious relationship though. Luckily, I realized halfway through the last year that I have been "emotionally unavailable" and so have been working really hard to re-open myself to the possibilities. I'm putting it out to the universe that I am ready for a deeper level of connection in my life. I'm ready to sacrafice more and give more and care about myself less. I'm ready to be vulnerable, write songs about love and get hurt if it's necessary. I am ready to know someone else and to feel the full spectrum of emotions that come with it. I'm choosing this now.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Dear Origami

Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Come On Come ON Let's go....
We took some very funny pictures of the trip home on the KTX (the french train that goes like 150 miles and hour and gets you to Busan in 2/3 the time it would take on a traditional train) and laughed so hard that I almost threw up (no joke).

Doesn't this family look like it's having a blast???? Evidently the russian water nymphs spray acid, because they hand out protective clothing akin to that worn at a nuclear reactor meltdown...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Deliciousness. Weirdness. Embarrassness.
I've found my favorite. It's called Dalkkalbi 닭갈비 (which means literally chicken ribs) and it's spicy and delicious and they give you these little aprons to wear... Lumina caught me in a total state of Koreaness...hand covering my mouth while I talk on the cell phone during dinner while someone is cooking our food at the table. The only problem is that my clothes match... 
WEIRDNESS:

And finally, EMBARRASSNESS: I wrote this little story for an email to a friend, but I've since decided to share it for the good of the people... The more you know....Deciding that no one needed a 5 minute bidet experience to feel truly clean, I began to wonder if there was another button that I was supposed to hit to make the water stop...and there was. I then tried to inconspicuously mop the floor with toilet paper and dry off my pants a bit and after a short but fervent prayer that no one would notice the pee-looking water stains on my pants, I emerged a new woman, unceremoniously initiated into the world of the Korean Toilet Seat.
Makin' Hippies

And these are the fruits of our labor. Bandanas. Soaked in all kinds of roots and flower extracts and beautifully diverse. The kids had lots of fun sticking their hands in the dye and I'm sure their parents are going to LOVE the splotches of yellow, red and blue all over their clothes. Why they didn't give us little smocks, I will never know.

This is one of my favorite students. She did the babushka thing all by herself and with her cute missing teeth, she reminds me of an ajuma. When I have kids, I will pray night and day that they are 1/2 as cool as this grinning little imp. I don't know WHY I am drawn to the overly dramatic ones????
Ahhhhhhhhh. This is my interpreter, "I" with his artwork on his head. This kid is so amazing. He can't stop talking and playing, so I asked him to be my interpreter when Uncle Jonas was talking. He concentrated so hard and did such a good job of telling me what was going on that I kind of wished all of our classes required translation...then maybe he could keep himself out of Time Out for the full 45 minutes. I'm learning that it's a real challenge to teach to each child....especially the gifted ones. Maybe that's why I spent the bulk of my lunchtimes in Jr. High in detention???? naw.....

Making organic ttak (boiled rice cakes) that evidently have some sort of green root in them. I was grateful that they boiled them at high temperatures since the kids manhandled them before I was forced to eat them for snack that day. mmmmmmmmmm...boiled green roots and rice snacks! Eat em up!My house smelled like LILIES!!!! That's because I was able to buy 2 bunches of my favorite flowers for 6,000 won (= 6-7 bucks US). Add that to the delightful green hanging plant that I bought for 5 bucks last saturday and I think you can see that I am finally feeling settled. Plants to kill and flowers that I bought for myself. Life is so good.
PS. please note that Yo on which the plant is sitting...that is a bed for guests who may or may not ever visit me in korea...If that doesn't entice you to come see me, may I interest you in some organic bandana tiedying???
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Magical Things
1. I made a tornado in a bottle! When I was a young and impressionable student, science never thrilled me, but now that I've rediscovered my inner geek (and since I am doing science on a level closer to my understanding) I'm so excited to teach it and learn all about tornados in coke bottles. woo hoo! Bring on the punnet squares!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Am I the only one???
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Just Another Boring Sunday Night
I blew every fuse in the building and was without electricity(and air conditioning) just long enough for me to eat all of the beef jerky out of my food storage (it's always the first to go in a state of emergency). This Sunday, I bonked my head on the open cabinet door and sustained a bloody wound. The fact that I leave cabinet doors open while cooking pancakes will not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me well...especially Crystal and Alie who were the self-appointed "follow up safety and cleaning crew" in various apartments around the U.S. What might be surprising is the calmness with which I handled said trauma.I fell to the floor, cradled my head while cursing the designers of THIS CABINET DOOR
and tried to imagine the meeting in which this torture device was approved for manufacture. "I have an idea! Let's make it metal, with a sharp razor-like edge and put it in a tiny space like a kitchenette in Korea...surely, it will be the toast of Asia!!!" I would also like to point out with some irony that the cabinet door is the one emblazoned with the virtuous words, "Patience" and "Balance" neither of which were present when I muttered more than a few other CHOICE words at the cabinet.When I saw the blood, I calmly got a towel and applied it to my head, got some shoes (choosing the brown sparkly ones just in case I had to go to the hospital) and went to Cherie and Regan's apartment to have them look at the top of my head which is surprisingly difficult to view even with 2 mirrors. The funny part is that my hair just kind of looked like I tried to dye it...fresh blood on blond hair looks strikingly sassy instead of gruesome.

We determined no emergency room was necessary but as I sit hear writing and nerdily blogging about my stupidity and subsequent brain damage, I have a massive headache. Maybe next week, I can start a fire just to keep it interesting.

ps. Lumina said this post should be called "Ninny Gets A Headwound" and while it made me laugh it reminded me too much of this SNL skit from when I was a teenager called
Massive Headwound Harry...does anyone else remember this HILARIOUS skit circa 1989?
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Committment Issues
Here's the thing. When I was in college, a band that I really really really wanted to see was coming to Philly and playing on a Sunday night. A boy that I really really really wanted to makeout with wanted to go to the show too and we planned to go together. I'm not so into math but still the equation was compelling...rockshow + beautiful man = Bliss. But something didn't feel right. I believe in God and I believe that Sunday is the sabbath day...a day to do God things and sacrafice your own desires in order to completely dedicate yourself to the things that really matter, like service and family and thoughtful worship and study. The beautiful man was also religious and when we talked about it, he left it to me to make the decision to go or not to go to the show. Somewhere from deep inside, I mustered the strength to say ONE TIME, "OK, then let's not go." and that's when it started. We didn't go and subsequently, I have missed many an amazing event, show, makeout in the name of "keeping the sabbath day holy".
The mud festival is an organized weekend trip with a schedule and such. Evidently, we take a bus and we flop in the mud and eat food and hang out on the beach and come back sunday night. Everyone who has ever gone has the coolest photos and talks about how fun it is. The festival in and of itself is not the problem...it's the fact that I will miss church and be rolling around in dirt with half naked boys (sigh.) when I am supposed to be taking the sacrament. The talk that I read by the prophet was very straight forward and I felt something when he advised us that keeping the sabbath holy was not just about NOT doing things but also about being where we should be on sunday, like church. Of course, we will not be able to go to church every sunday during our lives, but I felt this time it was preventable and that maybe I should find another way to go to the festival and come home saturday night. Turns out that wasn't so possible...and so, Lumina and I cancelled (she needed to work on painting).
THe truth? I was actually kind of annoyed at myself for thinking about NOT going...I mean, how religious AM I? and honestly, does being mormon and committing to it require me to give up all semblence of rockstardom? Am I doomed to be milquetoasty, boring, unexperienced and lame? And the reality hit me: I care more about God things than mudfestivals and maybe just maybe somewhere along the line of my spiritual progression, I am going to stop caring about celebrity gossip and fashion magazines and pop culture and my hair all in the name of growth. Ok, probably not about the hair, but maybe...just maybe...
Thursday, June 28, 2007
The Truth
1. Going to Maren's house and drinking all of her Diet Coke (before she went through that "Diet Rite" and "Fruity Crappy Diet Dr. Pepper" phase...really Maren, was it any better than the brown goodness of the true drink?)
2. Going to Liz's house and eating all of her cheese and chocolate cake. That's cheese. and cake. not cheese cake although that would have been nice too.
3. Going to Maren's with Aliah when Maren is in Texas and Drinking all of her Diet Coke while convincing Puddles that he is not Maren's REAL child.
4. Staying home with Crystal and spying on the neighbors and watching Arrested Development when we are supposed to be sleeping.
5. My family.
6. Taco salad shells and real ranch dressing.
7. Jeff stopping by my work and dancing in the street in front of the Governor's Mansion.
8. walking barefoot in grass.
9. Going to Target on a Friday night and being able to try on clothes that don't cut off your circulation because the arm holes are made for women who drink Corn Water.
10. Singing loudly in my car. Crying in my car. Praying out loud in my car. Driving by myself in my car. Really any kind of transportation not of the mass kind...
11. Fountain sodypop and large candy aisles.
12. Relief Society in the Ensign 7th Ward and the Gatherings
13. Lava Hot Springs and my girls. Hell. I don't think it will ever be that kind of good again.
What I am grateful for in KOREA:
1. Shrimp with eyeballs sink to the bottom of my soup bowl making it easier to eat the top of the soup without restraint.
2. City energy.
3. Opportunities to share the gospel without having to do SLC damage control.
4. Survival Korean Text Book and Very Cool Language Exchange partners/friends (majayo.)
5. I am surrounded by more children that I ever thought possible and I love them more than I thought possible.
6.Cleaning a 100 square foot cubicle/apartment takes one hour instead of one day and having a shower/bathroom takes multitasking to a whole new level....
7. There is a temple 4 subway stops away!
8. It's ok to wear whatever you want. NOt so sure that those pants match that shirt? NO worries! Wear it anyway. And throw in those shoes that don't go with anything ever...you're in Korea!
9. Constant grist for the mill of my soul.
10. People! People! People! thrown together by circumstance and choosing to love.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Thank Goodness Koreans Buy Things in Bulk

Sunday, June 24, 2007
Ninny Takes A Bath (with 75 strangers)
After the initial shock of nudity, it all becomes rather strangely comfortable...and you forget that not one person you interact with is clothed. Not to be too graphic, but they do this all body scrubbing thing once you've percolated in the hot tub for a while...a korean lady in black bra and underpants puts you on a table, tells you that she's going to wash you like a fish and begins to scrub your body with a little glove that peels your flesh from your bones. Occassionally she will say something in Korean to the other ladies scrubbing next to her and they will all laugh and you will be accutely aware that she is saying your butt is the size of a pumpkin. Immediately after the scrubbing, you feel like a pink, squirmy baby...smooth and slightly traumatized. And then you put your pink outfit on and go meet up with your friends in the communal rooms, trying not to visualize the boys hanging out naked with a bunch of other men and hoping that they don't spend too much time visualizing you.
This is what it looks like when you meet in the common room...big logs (for some inexplicable reason...perhaps to make you feel like you just bathed in hot spring instead of a bathtub?) and people in their outfits playing games and hanging out. We went really late in the evening so a lot of people were asleep. We (and by "we", I mean "everyone but me") wanted to play a rousing hand of Harry Potter UNO, so we snuck downstairs to the golf putting room. The guys had staked it out earlier and found that it was supposed to be closed but they didn't lock the door. Enter the foreigners who could claim ignorance when the authorities discovered them lounging on the couches playing a card game that can barely be called interesting. We did get kicked out, but it was really a disappointment in terms of drama. :(
Everyone just sort of passes out on the floor when the time comes for passing out...and you end up drooling on a mat next to a complete stranger. Evidently there is a sort of law of the jjimjilbang about mats...if you leave it for a minute, it will be gone. I fell asleep with instructions to hold down the fort and when Lumi and Jason and Nate came back, a mat, pillow and BLANKET were gone. How did I, of keen observational powers, miss this one? I have concluded that with all that dead skin scrubbed off, already waifish Koreans are about as present as a gust of wind and so can be a bit more stealth than usual. That's obviously the truth.
I woke up the next morning to Nate pondering the question, "At what point does the reality of a nice comfy bed at home outweigh the coolness of matching pajamas and communal sleeping?" I answered quickly and without reservation, "Right Now." We packed up and headed home to sleep our Saturday away in the comfort of our own beds with freshly scrubbed skin and a neckache...That my friends, is jjimjilbang.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
A Tree Grows in Korea
This is funny for several reasons but most specifically because it conjures images of Lord of the Rings instead of mismatched Korean fashion...and considering the fact that every piece of clothing in the store has sparkles, bows and some misspelled english words on it, GRACEFUL isn't the word I would use. But I digress...behold the glory of the roadtrip!!!!!!

Did you think I would forget to chronicle the reststop bathroom? I think this bathroom was so interesting to me because it FELT so weird and open like the creepy kind of bathroom you find yourself in during a crazy nightmare where clowns chase you through the halls...At the beginning of the trip the bathrooms looked like this...a veritable oasis of peeing with toilets of BOTH kinds (squat on the ground and western) and a lovely gardenesque display in the middle. By the end of the trip, there was not a western toilet to be found and I got really good at not peeing on myself. 
Youngji wearing her mother's driving sleeve. I'm not kidding. It's to cover her arm so she doesn't get that one arm tan.
Evidently if you wear flowers in your hair in Korea, they call you crazy girl...so here we are, 4 wild and crazy girls. haha.

basking in grass that I'm allowed (and not afraid) to lay in...these pictures remind me a bit of that little park in SLC where I used to lay in grass on my lunch break back before grass signaled something sinister and untouchable.

Rice paddy. First time I had seen one. Kind of cool. These next pics are of a traditional Korean family house...The Shin family owned this house built in the 1800's. The compound has 99 rooms which is supposed to signal wealth. The oldest son would live here and his wife would keep the house and make the food for anyone in the extended family who came to visit. That's a lot of food.


This is how they heated the floors back in the day...kitchen stove, fire under the house that would heat up a large slab of stone. The stone stayed warm for a night and you slept directly on it. The modern derivitive is the stone bed that I now sleep on. Pretty inventive if you ask me. A little smelly maybe and definitely HARD but inventive!





We found a little stream in the mountain after eating our "energy chicken" soup (each region is known for a specific food item and Andong is famous for salty makerel fish (yum) and this ricey chicken soup that you're supposed to eat when it's hot to combat the heat with more heat???) and we dipped our feet in and lounged around like lizards on the rocks...eventually it degenerated into singing the songs on our cell phone hold music and that's when we decided to go to the east coast of the ocean...
Rocky, pebbly, not sandy...this ocean was deep blue and angry..the stuff of poetry. I spent quite a bit of time contemplating life and lost love on the rocks while the surf pounded in with the coming tide. I wanted to write something sad and purposeful like the waves but I didn't bring my journal so I sent the poem out to the cloudless sky to be translated to the language of water someday when I return.
I loved being there especially because I can now say that I've been to the ocean on three continents. I think I will spend my 30th birthday in August at the Korean Coast (a follow up to 29 on the South Australian coast!) but maybe down south a bit more where the waves won't make me cry.
Andong was nice...a perfect escape from the city and a needed reconnection with my own fragility. Nature is so amazing.

