Two thoughts brought on by this weekend's mis-adventures:
Got free tickets to the symphony Friday night...Dvorak's 6th, complete with unhairy German violin prodigy. I realized as I tried to make myself as small as humanly possible so as not to invade the arm rest space of the wine-drunk man next to me, that THIS IS LIFE.. The symphony is life...or at least the way that I want to live life. In movements but with a common theme. Sometimes, it's like cellos carry the theme and they soar and I soar and I can't breathe with the beauty of it all. Other times, I feel like I'm living a staccato nightmare in an eastern bloc nationalist anthem. But somewhere underneath is the common theme of peace and love and belief and hope and choice. I love Dvorak. And I need a life that involves symphonies and wine-drunk neighbors.
Also went to Rocky Point Haunted House on Saturday. If my ideal life is symphonic in nature, The haunted house represents what it could be if I let set designers and the kids from my arts magnet highschool run my life. Dark hobbit holes and winding rooms with uneven floors and people grabbing at my ankles. This is what "The Dark Side" wants me to think life is like. A never-ending near escape from actors wearing masks and brandishing fake chainsaws. They would have us believe that our fear is what keeps us running through the rat infested insane asylum and that the only thing we have to look forward to, is one more room full of zombies and blood sucking beautiful undeads.
But the key to this is that it is FAKE. It's not real. The next room is not always a funeral parlor or a bloody camp bathroom. Fear is NOT real. It is a terrible substitute for allowing the hand of God to let your life unfold in it's movements. I'm going to the symphony again.