Friday, October 07, 2005

Ninny's Got A Brand New Bag

I don't know when it happened, but I became that lady with the bag the size of montana. It's a black canvas give-away from the PBS fund drives and represents a never-ending pit of scary items. Usually one or more of the following can be found at the bottom of my bag: 1. Hair brush (WHY??? I don't brush my hair) 2. lip gloss that I can never find when I need it 3. loose change 4. all my gum that has fallen out of the packet mixed with 5. some random dirt that seems to have no source...I'm not chucking handfuls of the front lawn in my where is the dirt coming from? 6. a piece of fruit or a sweet potato that I keep thinking I should eat instead of the doritos on top of the work refrigerator 7. sticky notes stuck to everything else (see 3., 4., and 5) and finally 8. another bag, usually a purse.

I don't really understand why I have a bag inside a bag, but I do. Cute purses become swallowed up in the vacuum that is the PBS bag. I seriously carry the cute purse in the PBS bag with the hope that I will have to get something out of my wallet or write a check so people will SEE the cute purse. THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!!! Why not dispense with the slimy fruit and erstwhile lipgloss and just carry the cute purse? Then I can be a cute purse girl instead of a large canvas bag lady. I baffle myself.

BUT, I have something that may help me change. I just traded in my gross leather laptop bag for an adorable black and lime green one...much cuter and much more user friendly. I can carry papers, my cell phone...other necessities in this cute bag AND a purse will NOT fit I will look both professional and trendy. Granted, now I have to take my laptop EVERYWHERE I go, but whatever. I'm already a slave to the thing...and now I will at least be free of the PBS bag.


Tamara said...

This is by far the best post ever. At one time or another, we have all been that girl. I'm glad to see you're moving up into the land of sassy bags where you belong!

Anonymous said...

kaarina said:

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah. been there! tried to reassure myself that at least my big huge canvas bag said "fidm" on it (l.a. fashion school) and was filled with crazy clothing design rulers and patterns i made myself and muslin and pins (bad, bad, idea-- stray pins!) and yes, the little cute purse, old bruised apple, and that mysterious grit!!

you're hilarious, ninny!

lovestrong said...

My dad says my bag makes me look like a bag lady. :( But he doesn't know the joy of being able to hide an entire box of cereal to bring into the movies, does he?

Manpace said...

If you ladies would just wear looser clothing, you could put things in your pockets, dispense with purses, and find some other, more exotic way to accessorize.

Two words: utility belt.

Anonymous said...

2 ideas:

I have a friend who has a small cell phone and carries it under her bra strap in that space between shoulder and boob.

I had a messenger bag I loved and carried it avec or sans laptop. If you love the new bag, break all the rules, go crazy!

lumina said...

i'm so relieved to read this!

I battle this battle, and lose everytime.

someday, someday, we will overcome!

Synergy said...

So, can I have your old bag? Some of us will never reform. Nothing like scaring off a new guy because he sees you carrying a satchel his mother wouldn't be caught dead with. Foxy.