This post is not, as I had originally intimated, about Arrested Development (season Two).
Instead, I would like to address a very serious and tragifying phenomenon in my life and the lives of my girl friends..."THE PLATONIC BOY FRIEND EXPLOSION" and it's subsequent effect known commonly as "BACK DOOR DATING". Let me first recognize that several of my consistent readers are of the male persuasion and I in no way intend to incriminate them. If you see yourself in the disturbing descriptions that follow (and you may...you've all done it at one point or another), please know that I will not condemn you, but am available to help you re-direct your efforts.
"THE PLATONIC BOY FRIEND EXPLOSION" happens to girls like me in fits and waves. Here's how it evolves in my world. I meet a boy. He's cute. He flirts and is flirty. We banter. There's some touching that would indicate mutual attraction. I smile. He smiles. We find out we both drool over swedish fish and David Sedaris books. SOmething is exchanged...email, phone number, bodily fluids (haha, not REALLY!!!! that would change the title of this phenomenon, now WOULDN"T it?) Then there is some other form of goofing off over IM or email or in person and just as I'm picking out wedding invitations....BAM. I get the email or the phone call that IS the "PLATONIC BOY FRIEND EXPLOSION" and leads to an attempt at "BACK DOOR DATING"....sample:
UNDEFINED RELATIONSHIP BOY: blah blah blah...inside joke 1...inside joke 2...you're so cool...um, so that girl you were talking to the other day, what's her story? A "friend" of mine wants to know. She's pretty hot.
BAM. that's the explosion. now UNDEFINED RELATIONSHIP BOY becomes PLATONIC BOY FRIEND. which in and of its self is not the real problem. The problem is that the explosion almost always leads to attempted "BACK DOOR DATING" which is the act of getting the girl that you've just become platonic friends with to cruise direct your social life as though you are a character on the Love Boat. The boy always wants me to host a party, organize an event, recommend them to the hot girl or set them up with said girl...just call me Love Boat Julie and hand me an F-ing clip board for hell's sake. And UNDEFINED RELATIONSHIP BOY goes from PLATONIC BOY FRIEND to ASS in 3 seconds flat.
Do I sound bitter? I'm not...I'm just 28 and I have what one man recently told me was a plethura of platonic boy friends. I know I am a good friend. I'm easy to be around as are most of my highly educated, witty and talented girlfriends that experience this same thing. I'm just advocating for one thing. If you decide that after flirting and getting to know me that you don't want to date me, kiss me or molest me in some way...please have the decency to extract yourself from the "BACK DOOR DATERS"...you will win my respect and save yourself an unsavory name calling session at the next Girls' Night.
Just an idea.