Friday, October 14, 2005

I date, you date, we all date

So why do I make such a big deal out of going on a date? EVERYONE DOES IT. I was sitting on a first date recently wondering if everyone else in the place knew that I was on a first date. I think that this is because when I go to a restaurant, I like to look at the couples and assess what level of intimacy they are at. It's a game that I play with myself or whomever else I am with...I like to ask the question, "What do you think their relationship is?" and then we speculate for a few minutes about whether they are roommates, lesbian lovers, old married couple who've been estranged for 10 years and are meeting up to discuss the children, business partners who have just filed bankruptcy, members of a poetry group or sigh, first daters. If you are in a group, this game can take hours...complete with eavesdropping and pointed bathroom walk-bys as you try to ascertain the truth.

But this last time, I realized that I am the person that I was hiding from. I was waiting for the obnoxious blond girl trying to entertain her friends to stand up in the corner of the Cocoa Caffe and point and scream, "FIRST DATE, everybody!!!! LOOK over there, it's a first date! Don't they look awkward and completely unsure of how they feel about each other? That's what I'm talking about!!!!!"

And I wanted to crawl under the table and call an ex-boyfriend. I wanted familiarity and a sure sense of what the relationship was, even if it made me feel sad. That is the problem with dating...other people are trying to figure out what the relationship is, while you are trying to figure out what the relationship is IN PUBLIC. I'm going to start taking all of my dates to a bombshelter so we can play the game in relative obscurity. Maybe then I could get some action too!


Bob said...

Ah, the first date.

One of my least favorite things about a first date is the fact that in our culture, a "first date" is seen as a big commitment. Going on a second date is almost marriage.


lovestrong said...

I like to play that people watching game too. Lately when I play it, I've tended to wonder what sins they're hiding. What weakness or folly are they trying to overcome or entirely embracing? How would we view people differently if their sins were like scars that everyone could see?

Juniper said...

I'm with lovestrong. I try to enter their minds and find out their secrets...but have you ever noticed it's the prettiest girl in the restaurant you always determine has the deepest, darkest sin? Maybe it's just me.

Bob said...


It's more fun that way... Ü

Anonymous said...

You really should consider a video at someone's house for a first date. That way, no one else is around to stare at you the way YOU stare at people when they're on first dates. Plus, it's much easier to get a little action that way... :)

- Tawnya

Moonbird said...

This is my first time here at your blog! You certainly delivered... made me "snicker"...

...and you made me use the word "snicker". A sure bonus. Emily

lumina said...

I laughed out loud! I think you are hilarious!!!!!

You are so funny!

I'm the brunette with kinky hair standing up in the corner of the cyber cafe pointing and screaming, "Hilarious Blogger everybody!!!! LOOK over there!"

Oh my gosh, I'm reading it again, I can't help myself! I love you!

lumina said...

Oh, and by the way. Now you have to dish about who this first date was. ?????

And did you get any action????

come on, I want details, STAT. (how do you write that slang word?)

Kirsten J said...

The reason we like to think that the prettiest girl in the restaurant has the deepest darkest sin is because she probably does. All my annoyingly beautiful girlfriends are full of them. The one had an abortion and loathes herself. The other one (who seems naive and virginal to everyone) broke into our boss' office with a guy at work and did all kinds of unmentionables. For some reason, they all feel comfortable sharing these things with me. Hm.

Even better are the sins of the self-professed uber-righteous. For the record, I despise hearing people bash religious folks by claiming that they "all" are judgmental hypocrites. And we ALL make massive mistakes we regret. But sometimes you find out something heinous about a religious zealot and it's shocking and entertaining. My old roommate's mom forbade her to have non-Mormon friends, but cheated on her husband...who died in an accident the day he gave her the divorce papers. She ripped them up, the estate went to her and not the kids. Evil! I doubt that's the only scandal to happen in "Zion." It's people like that who give the haters something to work with!

Ninny, people that meet you immediately feel good about themselves because you are so warm and disarming. Everyone you meet is immediately comfortable around you. For that reason, I bet nobody watching you with a guy would suspect you were a first-dater!

benjamin said...

Ninny Beth,
Thanks for your post on our blog. It is really nice to hear from you! I just dropped by and am thoroughly impressed by your introspective, insightful and deeply comedic postings. I am additionaly impressed by your smooth writing style with witty quipping. Witty quipping? Who am I? I love your thought processes that you share. You are inspiring and quite delightful indeed.

Coonskin said...

I must say Nini Beth, I totally play that game - maybe without even realizing it. First dates can get old in a hurry but then again, if you don't go on any for a while, you feel like a loser for being too reclusive. I s'pose it makes you a beter person though.