So why do I make such a big deal out of going on a date? EVERYONE DOES IT. I was sitting on a first date recently wondering if everyone else in the place knew that I was on a first date. I think that this is because when I go to a restaurant, I like to look at the couples and assess what level of intimacy they are at. It's a game that I play with myself or whomever else I am with...I like to ask the question, "What do you think their relationship is?" and then we speculate for a few minutes about whether they are roommates, lesbian lovers, old married couple who've been estranged for 10 years and are meeting up to discuss the children, business partners who have just filed bankruptcy, members of a poetry group or sigh, first daters. If you are in a group, this game can take hours...complete with eavesdropping and pointed bathroom walk-bys as you try to ascertain the truth.
But this last time, I realized that I am the person that I was hiding from. I was waiting for the obnoxious blond girl trying to entertain her friends to stand up in the corner of the Cocoa Caffe and point and scream, "FIRST DATE, everybody!!!! LOOK over there, it's a first date! Don't they look awkward and completely unsure of how they feel about each other? That's what I'm talking about!!!!!"
And I wanted to crawl under the table and call an ex-boyfriend. I wanted familiarity and a sure sense of what the relationship was, even if it made me feel sad. That is the problem with dating...other people are trying to figure out what the relationship is, while you are trying to figure out what the relationship is IN PUBLIC. I'm going to start taking all of my dates to a bombshelter so we can play the game in relative obscurity. Maybe then I could get some action too!