Saturday, March 31, 2007

Shrimp DO NOT have EYEBALLS in AMERICA.

Dear Korea,
We need to talk. I've been seeing you for over a month now and I think things are going pretty well. I really love your heated wooden floors, easy subway system, cherry blossom trees, gochujong and yogurt. I'm even getting used the smells down pig alley and the men spitting hockers on the ground in front of me as I walk to catch the bus. But some things have got to change if we're going to fall in love. I took this picture while you weren't looking. I think it represents everything that's lacking in our relationship: School lunch on Monday of this week. what's that you say? You want me to be more explicit? ok. you asked for it. A closeup.
Yes, that's right. Your fish flavored gray gelatin cubes topped with some sort of red seed jam is offensive to me. And that, combined with fish flavored seaweed Han River Water Soup and a slab of some sort of fish that probably had hair before you served it to me is unacceptable in our nascent affair.
I'm sorry to admit that in an attempt to punish you, I let Lumina take me to VIP's (yes, in your jealous rage, you might think it's pronounced V.I.P.'s, but you are wrong...this is viiiiips) where we attempted to enjoy a fresh time with "western style" food. I realize now that it was wrong especially because I was lured there under the pretense of "mexican food buffet" only to find that the "taco" meat was really pork barbeque with corn and korean pepper sauce and the toppings included shredded sesame leaves and cheese whiz.
And when I saw the shrimp with legs, eyes and guts intact billed as "shrimp coctail", I sort of missed you.
I really want to try to work things out. Can't we meet halfway? I'll try to eat the mini fishes fried to look like shredded wheat topped with sesame seeds (fish eyes) and then dipped in sugar??????, if you will warn me the next time you want to serve me something that looks like desert but tastes like rotten human flesh. Thanks.
Wanting to love you,
Beth-Ninny


1 comment:

Dainon said...

I just wanna say that, although I can't tell where the Old 97's are coming from, you have excellent taste in picking really one of the best songs ever. This automatically makes your blog one of the best ones ever. So, yeah, congratulations and stuff.