Public Transportation

We move
angrily in clumps,
tender shoots from the same seed.
God help us
find
a
seat
alone.

Elixir of Love

We've found it! It's white, lowfat, warm and has the reminiscent flavor of texturally neutral tapioca fluff. The best part about this elixir of love is its perfect abundance in Seoul. Need some in the morning before work? Try the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on the corner of Insadong and Nagwondong. Need some in the evening before a lengthy bus ride to Osan? Try the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in the train station. Need it in the middle of the day because you are addicted and think of nothing but texturally neutral tapioca essence all through the live long day? Try the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf located in the cockles of your heart (because I'm sure they've staked a claim there too next to burger king and dunkin donuts)

Evidently, True LOVE can be purchased for a mere pittance (if you consider 4,500 won and your soul, a pittance). WARNING: may cause some facial distortion and sexual nightmares.

ps. why I am the only one with wiley nostrils? I've got to stop having friends with such straight, lovely, un-flaring noses.

Another historical moment brought to you by the letters S and B.

Nota bene is a Latin phrase meaning "note well," coming from notāre—to note. It is in the singular imperative mood, instructing one individual to note well the matter at hand. (The pluralis form is notate bene.) In present-day English, it is used to draw the attention of the reader to a certain (side) aspect or detail of the subject on hand, translating it as "pay attention" or "take notice". It is often written in the abbreviated form: N.B.

does it get any cuter? Seriously.

Sometimes, you're just tired

Going To Bed Early

Nine below something Celsius
Christmas in three days
First, I think about you, strange country that is not strange
(but will be in three months)
And my gut is too twisted from
(too many vegetables at dinner)
thousands of unknowns pushing themselves up against me
(or just something I ate)
I see the clock says 7:16
And I remember that it’s actually 7:08
(I set it eight minutes fast because doing math wakes me up faster than alarms)
I know it’s too early, but nine below
a good book
and maybe a vision or two when I close my eyes
It’s enough.

A Crush Is Born

Take note:

1. Smart Boy requests that I send him music.

2. Smart Boy then listens to every song, taking note of structure, possible connections between songs and why and how each song may have captured my ear/heart.

and as if that weren't enough to lay me out...

3. Smart Boy sends me a poem that includes the words, "my head exploded" to describe his listening experience. The poem has a RUBRIC (!!!!!) on how to unlock the layered meaning.

Excuse me, Smart Boy, but I'm pretty sure I'm the one with the exploding head.

New News Now!

I ate at Bennigans!

(This is Misook Werner from Pennsylvania! She knows my Nan and Pap! We ate a BROWNIE!)

It Snowed!!!

(this is where I live! There was a pony! I knew this was a magical place, and then that PONY!!!)

(we love the snow!)

I sang! I was on a poster and everything! LOOK!

BAM! Crush UP! Crush Down!

May I introduce a few new concepts to your vernacular?

B.A.M. Boy Attention Moment (noun) A (pathetic) replacement for real dating and relationships meant to make you feel the soaring leap of hope necessary to prove to yourself that you are not slightly socially autistic.
usage
friend: Um, were you crying during church today? I would have handed you some tissue to clean...well, you know...but I was kind of on a sacrament date and I couldn't really stop in the middle of the rub-down portion... I wanted him to ask me to Sunday School. You understand, right?
NB: Oh, yeah, no problem. Well, yeah, it was a rough day, but it's ok because tonight at the Break The Fast, ______________ (insert boy name) totally gave me a BAM! Like eye contact and everything. I think he wants to marry me.
Friend: excellent.

Crush Up (verb) moving your crush to level 2 (level 1 = facebook stalking) by making real life contact in some written or verbal form.
Usage: I totally crushed up on ________________ after blogstalking for many months and I think he really liked my comment on his facebook status. I think he wants to marry me.


Crush Down (verb) Taking your crush back down to level 1 shortly after a failed attempt at crushing up.
usage: I guess I will have to crush down as it appears ______________ was unimpressed with my comments on linkup, facebook, friendster and myspace. Do you think the unsolicited chat on gmail was too much?

Credit where credit is due...crush up (or is it crush down? I can't remember!) is a trademark of Bottari

Love = ceramic hearts+ handwritten notes

Thank you, R. I taught you the word "homesick" and you taught me about compassion.

If you are ever looking for something to serve as a miracle in your life...I present these little people...old souls who are the culmination of their families spiritual gifts and talents who know more about the things that really matter than all of our collective adult "wisdom". I am humbled to be part of their lives. God really knows what He's doing.

Things I remembered that I forgot

1. I forgot that I love www.toothpastefordinner.com but now I remember.

2. I forgot that when I was 14, I thought 31 year olds were old and freaky and not cool, but I recently remembered as I was at a movie with a smattering of tweens who were all pretending they didn't know who we were, even though we were the ones with their movie tickets and drivers licenses.

3. I forgot that I am an ENFP in meyers briggs land but when I finally remembered, it also jogged my memory of all my flaws. Which are many. (yeah, like I could forget that...especially since I remember that I'm also a virgo which reminds me that I'm doubly screwed...self-absorbed and highly aware of it. BLURG!)

4. I forgot (but my older brothers and their GI Joes certainly didn't) that I don't make very good bombing, helicopter and gun explosion sounds. Had I remembered this very important bit of information sooner, I may have avoided this very awkward and weird "sound effect" phase in which I am currently stuck. Has this ever happened to anyone else???? Like, instead of saying a word, I make a noise. Example. Someone says, "Hey, you're a totally and utterly self-absorbed, fruity ENFP, aren't you? I can tell by the way you whore for attention at any given moment!" to which I reply with a perfectly pitched, "DING!" and follow it up with a lower, more sophisticated "Merp." It's completely out of my control and the worst part is how I can't even seem to approximate a machine gun when necessary after all these years.

5. I also forgot, but now choose to remember that I can choose my life. That's more serious and lest I bore you with the depths of my mental pinings, just imagine that for years you thought everything you did was on some sort of string being manipulated by someone else and then you realize that there is a string, but you've got it in your hands. There's no puppet master, only a loving God who hands you a blank pad of paper before the show and says, "make it up. I'll make it work for your good if you love me." That's a really amazing reminder during times of transition.

I got interviewed

check out this blog by Arthur Hatton. He features LDS musicians who aren't Colors and this week-ish, he's featured me.

Linescratchers

No pressure.

Hunger of Memory

It's historic. America elected Barack Obama and I wasn't even there to watch it unfold, to be part of the changing of the guards. I was in a classroom, writing November 5th on the blackboard and feeling like a true ex-patriot. It's a little like the 13 year old version of myself, sitting at the kitchen window, straining to see what's happening at Dawn Balliet's party across the street and trying to figure out why I wasn't cool enough to get invited. You know the worst part? This time it's all my fault. I didn't vote. I missed the deadline for the absentee ballot. I didn't register in time. I didn't cash in on my american right and by extension, I didn't become passionate about it one way or the other. I didn't learn enough about the candidates and the issues because it wasn't shoved in my face. I was lazy. I was supposed to demand entrance into that damn party at Dawn's house, and I just walked away and bought a Krispy Kreme donut in Gangnam and watched a Korean game show instead.

And now, I am totally and utterly homesick. Like the kind of homesick where I just sit and cry and hate everything about Korea. I wish I was in America right now so that I could be feeling something about this election result. ANYTHING except the sort of wishy washy ambivalence that I feel. I hate that everyone else gets to be passionately disappointed or passionately excited and I can only wonder what the news means for the falling won and my monthly money transfer. I know...I chose this. Self-imposed on many levels. You know I just really hate to miss a party.

And I miss my family. I miss my passionately political dad and his opinions that are so often at odds with my own.

So tonight, I will eat an apple, send a few emails and curl up in my bed and look forward to a rested tomorrow when I can hug a little korean kid who is speaking beautiful broken english at me. God bless America. Everyone.

I lied.

My life is not really all about the fiber. It's all about the A's.

ABBA.

AFROs.

AIR GUITAR by chad gooch.

And to reward you for looking at my self-absorbed halloween pictures, I will tell you a secret.

I'm coming home! I've decided not to renew my contract for next year. I'll be back in Americaville as of March/April 2009. I'm excited for the next chapter...but it's nights like this Friday that make it just a little bit harder to think about leaving. You better be getting ready for me, America. I hope you have lots and lots of air guitars.

I'm normal and regular.

I'm tired of everyone appearing to have these fabulous lives full of weekend shenanigans and hip everything. I read your blogs. I'm sure that I like you in RL. But maybe sometimes my life is all about how much fiber I consumed instead of the wild hijinx of single life. So today, I want you to know that I ate 10 grams of fiber (mostly from fruit and these Fiberone bars that I love) and almost (working on it as we speak) 1600 ml of water. Tomorrow will be more of the same. Oh, and a coerced theatrical experience in which I finally! see the musical CATS...in korean. Shoot me now.

words are cheap and I like a good bargain...

but seriously, "hubby"? That word is like the nasty stained underpants at the bottom of the DI bucket that you pick up accidently and then hurl across the room when you realize what it is. Don't take it! EVEN IF IT"S FREE! That stain will NOT come out. Hubby. Blech!

I can't think of a less attractive word to call the person that you've decided should be the father of your children or at least the payer of your bills.

actually, I think I should just start a comprehensive list of unapproved words here for the sake of posterity...

NOTE: while not inherently evil, each of these words use alone or together in certain contextual situations or combinations (ie. pork panties) can ignite a physical reaction that may or may not include chills, projectile vomit, explosive swearing and whimpering.

moist
ointment
boil
panty
pork
pustule
hock
cubicle (thanks alie, now it always makes me think of pubicle, and who likes the word pubicle?)
bladder
misanthropic
delve
menses
lark
mercantile (can't really watch Little House On The Prairie anymore, stupid Olsens.)
blossoming (no reference to joey lawrence and mayim bailik vehicle of the early 90's)


There's more, but I won't really remember until after I punch you. Accidently.

Little Mexico

It's concert time and I'm in the business of creating the finest singing Korean Mexicans you ever heard. Check out my gang.